opinionatedly constipated

A condition that is developed by keeping one's own opinions to oneself as to not "rock the boat." Especially common for those who keep their opinion's to themselves on social media, often writing paragraphs of opinions in response to others, only to delete them to avoid a war with friends. This condition becomes especially unhealthy when developing ignorant friend circles and being exposed to ludicrous shit on a constant basis.

Heather became opinionatedly constipated after making friends with idiots on Facebook during a presidential election season.

by HastaCare September 23, 2016

NoScope Constipation

When you shit without looking

"I have NoScope constipation every morning!"

by Ryeism August 8, 2016

Phone Constipation

When you have a hard time taking your phone out of your pocket.

My pants are so tight I get phone constipation.

by Sponceee April 6, 2017

Digital Constipation

Having to wait to upload pictures on social media due to lack of internet connectivity

''For goodness sake Sally, we need to find Wifi to upload these selfies, I'm beginning to get digital constipation"

by Jazzersey September 18, 2017

Netflix Constipation

When you get backed up watching the shit in your Netflix list.

I can’t go out tonite. I got some serious Netflix Constipation! I’m like 6 episodes behind on “Cupcake & Dino”!

by LordJefe October 29, 2018

Greenwich Constitutional

Pretending to leave for work in the morning, only to return home after your partner has left for their job, in order to have an extramarital affair.

I was pulling a Greenwich Constitutional when I heard the front door open. It was only the maid arriving late that day. I was terrified it was my wife about to walk in on me and the pool boy.

Tiffany and I had a nice Greenwich Constitutional situation going until her husband got indicted for insider trading and was sentenced to house arrest.

by t pot February 6, 2019

postulation constipation

A state of mental stagnancy; one is unable to excrete thoughts. A bit like writer's block for your brain's bowels.

I cannot finish my essay on my latest axiom, do I have postulation constipation? (yes)

Stacy won't have her speech written in time for her presentation because she has postulation constipation .

by Postulate With Me Baby March 17, 2019