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Alpha Wank

When a male has a wank staring at himself in the mirror, usually accompanied with positive remarks "you're a fuckin good looking bastard"
One would engage in such activities to build confidence within themselves as an alpha and also in the bedroom.
Bro I had the best alpha wank last night, I feel real alpha today from it
by M3n1s January 11, 2022
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Tom Wanks

It is said of a male person continuously having the urge to masturbate in public places when in good company.
1. Did you see John last night in his office? He was masturbating again! He's such a Tom Wanks.

2. Paul, if you really have the urge to masturbate or to workplay, please go to the bathroom and lock it! Don't be a Tom Wanks.

3. Man, always when I go out with you guys to the cinema I feel like needing to masturbate when the movie starts. You may be right, I might be a Tom Wanks.
by LCFO December 9, 2021
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Salty wank

To relieve yourself with a wank after getting fucked in a game of league of legends or fifa

The welsh call it "jini ffernac"
"Fuck I just got my ass kicked in fut champs im gonna have a salty wank"
"I just got fucked in my lane im gonna have a salty wank"
by Corronica April 16, 2022
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wank cycles

Tactically beating one out so you last longer in the sack should you be so lucky later.
Josephina: Wow honey! That was a long one... much more than your usual 45 seconds.
Esteban: Yes, dear. I got my wank cycles back in order today in anticipation of our sexual intercourse encounter this evening. Glad you noticed.
by Handsome_Cat April 19, 2022
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Wank warden

When in a large group of people and 1/8 of them being the commander of all the penises among them this being the wank warden
John: did you go to last summers camp I heard Jerry was the wank warden
by Backedpotatoenoises February 6, 2021
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posh wank

Where A Man Masturbates Whilst Wearing A Condom.
Henry - "Fuck Did I 'Ave A Good Posh Wank Last Christmas Eve!"

Greg - "You Wanna Be Careful You Dont Snap Your Banjo Cord!"
by Joe Nazmdeh December 28, 2005
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Panic Wank

A game played by terribly bored teenagers. The typical scenario involves being alone in one's room, erection in hand. The participant then shouts in order to call the attention of someone they would rather not be masturbating infront of: the most common example being the mother. The player then attempts to bring himself to climax and clean up before the mother, or other, enters the room to see what they were wanted for.
A rainy day in middle class English suburbia. One nervous sixteen year old male clutches his erect penis in one hand, Kleenex in the other. He clears his throat, ensuring his voice does not falter.

"MUM!!"

The game of panic wank begins.
by Panic Wanker October 1, 2009
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