1. (World) Football (aka Soccer) is a simple minded woman's sport (of course, how could it be otherwise...) where they run around a field trying to kick a ball; like a sugar loaded dog; into the other's team goal stand, or whatever. Operationally, it is a lot like Hockey, except a lot more gay. 'Men' are also known to practice this lame game (shit); in this case, a bunch of effeminate losers get off to rub and watch someone else's legs, butts and other private parts that giggle around. Worst still, the 'men' that like to watch this travesty are obvious closet homos that fantasise being humped by the players over the excruciatingly long and boring hour and a half plus that actually contains under five minutes worth of actual action. The mad skills required are dancing, for dribbling; and running, for positioning. Seriously; even though only and asshole would actually take it like that. The strategic component is laughable (I guess that helps to explain the popularity of it); just run, kick-pass and shoot; repeat ad nauseam. The only little fun is that you can make the ball handler trip. May have to take a penalty shot; or some other bullshit; but if done correctly, it's definetly worth it (imho).
2. (US) American football is a sorry-ass redneck recreation of a fantasy battle. Albeit a little more manly than 'Succer' (ie, less gay); however it has little to do with actual kicking, being more akin to Rugby; and hence it has to do more with name calling, crazy stupid hitting, physical hurting and permanent injuries. That is to say, carry by hand the revered ovally shaped ball (dildo) to the other side whilst avoiding being enviously, butt-hurtingly tagged (tackled or better stated, fucked) to score. Passes are made by throwing; there's however a little kicking overall, mostly for extra scoring points. The game goes like this; the captain (may be directed by coaches) select a complex predetermined offensive/defensive play (at least inasmuch as those neanderthals can comprehend), the team executes, someone scores (or don't); hopefully getting hurt; and it starts all over again. Seeing someone (a moron) taken out nearly unconscious (or badly hurt) is the main reason to watch. To make it more true contact like, should be played without any protective gear; also, a couple of weapons would spice things up a notch and make it more macho and interesting; to say the least (for me anyhow).
2. (US) American football is a sorry-ass redneck recreation of a fantasy battle. Albeit a little more manly than 'Succer' (ie, less gay); however it has little to do with actual kicking, being more akin to Rugby; and hence it has to do more with name calling, crazy stupid hitting, physical hurting and permanent injuries. That is to say, carry by hand the revered ovally shaped ball (dildo) to the other side whilst avoiding being enviously, butt-hurtingly tagged (tackled or better stated, fucked) to score. Passes are made by throwing; there's however a little kicking overall, mostly for extra scoring points. The game goes like this; the captain (may be directed by coaches) select a complex predetermined offensive/defensive play (at least inasmuch as those neanderthals can comprehend), the team executes, someone scores (or don't); hopefully getting hurt; and it starts all over again. Seeing someone (a moron) taken out nearly unconscious (or badly hurt) is the main reason to watch. To make it more true contact like, should be played without any protective gear; also, a couple of weapons would spice things up a notch and make it more macho and interesting; to say the least (for me anyhow).
Football in all it's incarnations, still remains the most inconsequential, sub-mental and gayest shit; unequivocably so. A foolish game for the truly fool. Every decent and rational human being should despise it.
by manigordo April 1, 2008
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Dude 2: That sport is really slow
Dude 1: No, football americano
Dude 2: That sport is really slow
Dude 1: No, football americano
by Thatoneguy11 October 22, 2008
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Oh great nut! Have you ever seen such a large ball?!
Calm down my son, tis only the purple football of our small friend, Eggpress.
Calm down my son, tis only the purple football of our small friend, Eggpress.
by eggpress1 September 5, 2006
Get the purple football mug.Someone being arrogant, rude, obnoxious, or just a total dickhead . A real prick that makes you feel so shitty in the inside. A passive-aggressive jerk. Constantly talking shit in the fantasy football league no matter what his record is.
by cazed September 25, 2013
Get the fantasy football asshole mug.The biggest faggot jerkoff shitfest in the entire world. There are 130 teams but only 3 or 4 ever compete for a championship. 95% of the teams have absolutely no shot at competing ever because there is no draft, no contracts, no trades, and absolutely nothing that these teams can do against the 3 or 4 teams that all the good players decide to go to. It's almost the exact same goddamn teams every fucking year in and year out and it's the most godawful boring horseshit. On top of all of that, their playoffs are determined by a system of VOTING! Because of all of this horseshit, only retards like college football. This means college football is predominately big in the South. This is a perfect system for these stupid fucking redneck pieces of shit because they hate everybody else in the country that's not in the South so when their football team wins in their corrupt unfair horseshit games, they feel as if they are superior to the rest of the country. They have small, tiny penises so when their favorite team beats an inferior team with no chance of ever competing 84-7 on a throwaway Saturday, it makes them feel better about their micro-weewees. There are a lot of dumb things that exist in this fucked up world, but college football is the biggest crock of horseshit that has ever existed and college football fans that view it as a legitimate product are the biggest faggot pieces of pathetic shit on this fucking Earth. Fuck college football
"hey Central Florida went undefeated! They played 13 games and won all 13 games!" - Kyle
"That's great, too bad they lost" - Stan
"How did they lose? They won every game they played!" - Kyle
"Yeah but the selection committee voted that they weren't good enough to make the playoffs, so another team won the National Championship" - Stan
"But they won their bowl game!" - Kyle
"Bowl games don't mean shit" - Stan
"Wow this sure is stupid, but atleast we helped our football program!" - Kyle
"Actually, now that UCF is good, nobody is going to agree to play them so the school is going to make less money now" - Stan
"Wow college football is the most retarded fucked up horseshit! Who the fuck likes this crap!?" - Kyle
"Southerners, the only people retarded enough to think its worth watching" - Stan
"Oh that makes sense" - Kyle
Fuck college football
"That's great, too bad they lost" - Stan
"How did they lose? They won every game they played!" - Kyle
"Yeah but the selection committee voted that they weren't good enough to make the playoffs, so another team won the National Championship" - Stan
"But they won their bowl game!" - Kyle
"Bowl games don't mean shit" - Stan
"Wow this sure is stupid, but atleast we helped our football program!" - Kyle
"Actually, now that UCF is good, nobody is going to agree to play them so the school is going to make less money now" - Stan
"Wow college football is the most retarded fucked up horseshit! Who the fuck likes this crap!?" - Kyle
"Southerners, the only people retarded enough to think its worth watching" - Stan
"Oh that makes sense" - Kyle
Fuck college football
by EggFuYungAtHeart February 4, 2022
Get the College football mug.An as of yet non-existant sporting-goods object used as a slang adjective to describe the level of Gayness that a Homosexual exhibits in public.
by The Morbid One December 23, 2002
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