When two men (typically Mormon) lock eyes and proceed to simultaneously give each other hand-jobs in a contest to see who can withstand orgasming the longest. The first man to ejaculate has "lost" the Utah standoff and is, by virtue, a homosexual.
This widely practiced method of settling disputes originated among Adam Smith's early followers as a non-lethal alternative to dueling. Recently, it has been employed as a litmus test to determine where a man falls in the spectrum of sexuality, as a heterosexual male would obviously not allow another man to force him to climax.
These affairs are rarely witnessed as they occur behind closed doors due to the socially questionable nature of the practice, but are truly a spectacle to behold. There is typically an exorbitant amount of grunting, grimacing, sweating, trying not to make out with each other, and occasionally crying, ending with an outburst from the losing contestant that consists of equal parts orgasmic pleasure and shame.
It is rumored that Joseph Smith hurriedly invented the Utah Standoff to explain what was happening when someone walked in on him passionately and intensely jerking off one of his followers, but again, these are only rumors.
This widely practiced method of settling disputes originated among Adam Smith's early followers as a non-lethal alternative to dueling. Recently, it has been employed as a litmus test to determine where a man falls in the spectrum of sexuality, as a heterosexual male would obviously not allow another man to force him to climax.
These affairs are rarely witnessed as they occur behind closed doors due to the socially questionable nature of the practice, but are truly a spectacle to behold. There is typically an exorbitant amount of grunting, grimacing, sweating, trying not to make out with each other, and occasionally crying, ending with an outburst from the losing contestant that consists of equal parts orgasmic pleasure and shame.
It is rumored that Joseph Smith hurriedly invented the Utah Standoff to explain what was happening when someone walked in on him passionately and intensely jerking off one of his followers, but again, these are only rumors.
Ezekial: That is verily my sheep, for I recognize it as the most beautiful in the flock. Return it to me at once, Jedidiah, or I shall invoke the Utah Standoff.
Jedidiah: Bring it on.
(Utah Standoff proceeds, Ezekial is defeated)
Jedidiah: Victory and the sheep are mine to enjoy!
Ezekial: I love you.
Jedidiah: I love you too.
Me: That's pretty gay.
Jedidiah: Bring it on.
(Utah Standoff proceeds, Ezekial is defeated)
Jedidiah: Victory and the sheep are mine to enjoy!
Ezekial: I love you.
Jedidiah: I love you too.
Me: That's pretty gay.
by Rake7613 January 31, 2010
Common throughout the world, the Utah wedge is when a car attempts to pass another car, but stays the same speed and blocks the road for anyone else to pass.
by Supellex December 15, 2009
The Utah Teapot is a sexual maneuver requiring three people - one man, and two women (one with a strap-on). It combines pegging and the teapot maneuver - the three people are in a line, facing the same direction.
The man is in the center, the woman wearing the strap on is in the back, pegging the man, with her hands on his shoulders, and the woman without a strap-on is in front, in the doggystyle position. Due to the orientation of those involved, the overall shape resembles that of a teapot - the woman in the front being the 'spout', the woman in the back being the 'handle', and the man being the body of the teapot.
The "Utah" correlation comes from the fact that two women and one man are required - a reference to polygamy/Mormonism/Utah.
The man is in the center, the woman wearing the strap on is in the back, pegging the man, with her hands on his shoulders, and the woman without a strap-on is in front, in the doggystyle position. Due to the orientation of those involved, the overall shape resembles that of a teapot - the woman in the front being the 'spout', the woman in the back being the 'handle', and the man being the body of the teapot.
The "Utah" correlation comes from the fact that two women and one man are required - a reference to polygamy/Mormonism/Utah.
I walked in on Dallin and his two wives, Jessica and Linda, doing the Utah Teapot the other night after temple. I then went and didn't have a drink, since it is forbidden in my faith.
by nilesdark April 9, 2019
A narc, or somebody who works for the police or FBI, in reference to a character played by Keanu Reeves, in movie Point Break
by Peiper4965 January 5, 2008
The women in utah have a special hairstyle. They cut the front even with their chin and then taper it up to the rear so that it looks like someone ran a pair of clippers up the back of their necks. May induce nausea.
Person A: Lets stop in St. George, Utah on our way to Zions and get some various edible delights.
Person B: Wow, look at all the female hairstyles there are here, or lack thereof.
Person A: They must style their hair with weedwackers
Person B: Looks like the Utah Cut
Person B: Wow, look at all the female hairstyles there are here, or lack thereof.
Person A: They must style their hair with weedwackers
Person B: Looks like the Utah Cut
by mofaka666 July 25, 2009
NBA team w/ 20 straight playoff berths but no championships; lost 2 NBA finals in '97 and '98; had the greats Stockton and Malone til this year; the streak will end in '04
by 0000 October 21, 2003
The art of trolling outright lies, or twisted half-truths in an on-line forum political discussion by a conservative hypocrite usually an in the closet gay upon returning home after an evening spent making santorums.
1.) Mark squirmed with delight sliding across a santorum on his leather chair as he posted dozens of Utah Steamers in reply to the liberal posts on the forum.
2.) George upon returning home from his Utah Log Cabin Republican meeting furiously banged on the keyboard typing Utah Steamers to the liberal posts on the forum.
2.) George upon returning home from his Utah Log Cabin Republican meeting furiously banged on the keyboard typing Utah Steamers to the liberal posts on the forum.
by Richard_Gozinya October 7, 2012