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Swiss army knife

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"This Swiss army knife is a multi-tool. It does everything nature requires!"
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Swiss colony beef log

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Stockings are hung on the chimney,
And the presents are under the tree,
And mama's in the kitchen
Making some herbal tea.

Windows are covered with frost
And the candles are all alight,
But as I wander through this quiet house,
Something just doesn't seem right.

You see, every year, the neighbors bring us
A Swiss Colony Beef Log.
But the neighbors aren't around (around, around)
There's no Beef Log to be found this year.

(No Beef Log)

Christmas isn't Christmas
Without a Swiss Colony Beef Log.
Without those cheeses and meats
I don't think I can get along.

Mother tries to comfort me;
She says "Here, Son, have some eggnog."
I fucking hate eggnog, seriously.

But what do I see
Underneath the tree?
Grandma got a Swiss Colony Beef Log just for me!
Ah, ah, ah, Baby!!

Swiss Colony Beef Log, baby!
That's what Christmas is all about!
My prayer has finally come in a Beef Log baby!
Makes a little boy scream and shout!

Deck the halls with boughs of Swiss Colony!
Fa-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la!

Sweet!
by symple jack April 1, 2009
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Swiss'ed Up

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Getting unnecessarilly hammered with no regard for consequences or prior comitments to work or social events yet maintaining a certain level of dignity and functionality in society.
Guy 1- "Dude, Its friday night, i have court in the morning, i dont care, im getting SWISSED UP tonight kid."

Guy 2- " I was Swiss'ed up today while i was performing open heart surgery, i dont think they knew"
by BGeezy29 April 11, 2011
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A term describing overpriced Swiss made beater watches that cater to people with issues (e.g. inferiority complex, erectile dysfunction, cuckoldry, massive overdose of Hodinkee content) poor knowledge at best about the wonders of true horology spearheaded by superior Japanese watchmaking.
"How's your journey as a watch aficionado doing?"
- "I'm done with dark turtlenecks and Swiss shitters. I'll better be starting to sell hommage watches that look like cheap ones. Ok ciao."
by Grand Seiko Owner November 30, 2022
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Swiss retard

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1. A person with intense concentration but lacking in intelligence to grasp the problem / situation at hand.

2. Extremely annoying well meaning person who cannot infer, differentiate or recognize paradox. Generally caused by cultural isolation and in-breeding.

3. A person who oversimplifies a problem or situation in such a way thereby masking the problem at hand.

4. A extremely dumb person, who is surrounded by other extremely dumb persons and therefore can only view the world in a dump-consensus.
Michael cannot understand that people have different ways
of doing the same thing. He is such a swiss retard.

The man at the checkout was so irritating, he kept asking me the same question over and over with a sick psycho smile.
What a swiss retard!

The man driving gave extra gas when he saw people were crossing the street against the light, was a typical swiss retard.
by gbradssg hujwsmu January 1, 2012
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Swiss army wife

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woman with lots of different feminine skills
Your swiss army wife sure can cook
by Semu April 5, 2004
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Swiss Turtleneck

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The act of a man's head being placed between two sets of large breasts so that the breasts form a "turtleneck" around the man's neck.
Brandon: "Dude, i got the two Emily's to give me a Swiss Turtleneck!"

Blake: "Nice!"
by Big Choctaw July 9, 2010
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