guido

an italian who is culturally challenged and makes us real italians look bad.

Hey did you guys hear, Kim Cignarella is going out with some guido from Fairfield, what doosh bags.

by traytraytray December 28, 2005

guido workout

A workout which you will witness in almost any commercial gym up and down the country, but especially so in Liverpool. The guilty parties are skinny, scally males who believe that sitting on both the bench press or bicep curl machines for a few reps on each will sculpt a herculean body that will make female jaws hit the floor. They perform the workout with weightlifter gloves on the ends of their stick-like arms, and as they are usually exercising with about 5 or 6 mates, they have intervals of 5 minutes between sets thus making all their "hard work" completely futile. Little do they know that the back and the triceps need equal attention as the previously mentioned body parts, as do the legs, abs and shoulders if they are to look remotely athletic and not end up with man-tits on their skinny bodies. But whatever, the higher the percentage of scallies who are deformed, the better I say.

Hehe, look at those wankers doing that guido workout.

(half an hour later) Ok, I really do need to work my chest here.

by Anonymous May 4, 2005

Guido Moment

Guido Moment - A moment where ignorance overwhelms the logic of an otherwise rational white guy. To Put it plainly, they act like guidos. Guido Moments are unpredictable, an incident as mild as bumping into someone can quickly involve into stand downs, fake threats, and the ever popular rolling up the sleeves to show off how their "guns". usually this is brought on by roid rage. Guido moments are the third largest killer behind tanning booth accidents and watching Godfather 3.

An exmaple of a Guido moment can be brought on scuffing a shoe. Usually the shoe is bought at Banana Republic or Hollister. Since the price of the shoe is so high, the average white dude ends up going crazy and seeking out the guy who scuffed it. This creates a Guido moment.

I had a Guido moment when some dude scuffed my shoe at a club in Sea Side.

by get me out of jersey February 13, 2008

guido

cologne reeking, structure wearing, too much gel motherfucker that'll hit on your girlfriend while you're standing right there. he will also start talking to a girl you're talking to like you ane't there- usually has to little fag friends to back is pussy ass up incase you retaliate. he is not necessarily italian as the name might suggest.

i just met this hottie, then some guido steps in and cock blocks

by drunkenstein April 16, 2004

guido

1) a superficial American male, usually from the Tri-State area, pretending to be of Italian descent through the use of some limited slang in whatever dialect was spoken by his supposed ancestors from il Belpaese. Known for his bad music taste, the guido loves greasy hair, wifebeaters, bling bling, tracksuits, and intercourse with guidettes.

2) the guido style is also spotted in the Italian peninsula, particularly amongst wannabe gangsters of the camorra. Their trademarks in Italy are: wifebeaters, tracksuits, cars with strobo lights, a bad command of Italian, being overweight, fur anoraks and - above all - an unhidden love of Gigi D'Alessio's music.

3) a derogatory term for an Italian. For someone who actually is from Italy, being associated with American guidos is one of the worst possible offences.

'That guy must've spent all his money on pimping that piece of trash!'
'That should come to you as no surprise: he's a guido!'

'Are you sure this is Naples? There are so many guidos around it feels like Jersey!'

'Hey dude, in the US we call Italians "guidos".'
'In Italy we call Americans who call us guidos "rednecks".'

by vafangù December 27, 2009

guido

a guido is simply just a douchebag

About 5 guidos at the club tried to get me to sleep with them last night. What douches.

by wowthatslame June 12, 2008

guidodamus

Based off the comedy great Dave Chappelle's Negrodamus its is the Italian Nostradamus. Said to reside in the somewhere in the eastern United States, its future telling ability is world renowned. It can be identified by its gold chains and potent smell of cologne and over gelled hair. WARNING: Do make eye contact without prior acquittance, if you smell red wine or Peroni on its breath flee ASAP, do not be near its food unarmed. Garlic is not its weakness...its not a vampire...more like the opposite of a vampire...lots of hair and darker...more like a werewolf....but not like a gay twilight vampire....if seen please contact FBI immediately.

HOTLINE CALLER: Guidodamus what will happen to me in my life...?

GUIDODAMUS: Some one will make you an offer you can't refuse....and at some point in your life you will die.

HOTLINE CALLER: Wait what? That is stupid everyone dies, this is bullshit!

GUIDODAMUS: For further clarification we will have to charge you 10 US dollars a minute and 15 for everyone after that.

HOTLINE CALLER: Bahah FUCK THAT!

GUIDODAMUS: Your prophecy has been fulfilled...get em boys.

HOTLINE CALLER: OH sh---(BANG BANG)

GUIDODAMUS: Thank you for calling the guidodamus hot line

by therealguidodamus August 18, 2010