guidodamus 

Based off the comedy great Dave Chappelle's Negrodamus its is the Italian Nostradamus. Said to reside in the somewhere in the eastern United States, its future telling ability is world renowned. It can be identified by its gold chains and potent smell of cologne and over gelled hair. WARNING: Do make eye contact without prior acquittance, if you smell red wine or Peroni on its breath flee ASAP, do not be near its food unarmed. Garlic is not its weakness...its not a vampire...more like the opposite of a vampire...lots of hair and darker...more like a werewolf....but not like a gay twilight vampire....if seen please contact FBI immediately.

HOTLINE CALLER: Guidodamus what will happen to me in my life...?

GUIDODAMUS: Some one will make you an offer you can't refuse....and at some point in your life you will die.

HOTLINE CALLER: Wait what? That is stupid everyone dies, this is bullshit!

GUIDODAMUS: For further clarification we will have to charge you 10 US dollars a minute and 15 for everyone after that.

HOTLINE CALLER: Bahah FUCK THAT!

GUIDODAMUS: Your prophecy has been fulfilled...get em boys.

HOTLINE CALLER: OH sh---(BANG BANG)

GUIDODAMUS: Thank you for calling the guidodamus hot line

guidodamus by therealguidodamus August 18, 2010