an Italian American man usually residing in New York or New Jersey. He wears shirts that are too tight and unbuttoned 5 buttons too low to show off the chest that he spent hours and hours at the gym obtaining, he spends more time on his hair than his girlfriend, and continues to "hit the clubs" long into his mid to late 30's. Often attracted to the female version of himself, the guidette.
Could that guy at the bar be any greasier?! He is such a guido
by Liz August 20, 2003
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An Italian-American that pretends to be Italian by: Talking with a thick New York accent; driving their cars way too fast with techno music blasting; dressing in tight clothes/valour, with their hair slicked back, gold chains, bracelets and rings and chest hair sticking out; usually being of ignorant towards gays and minorities and disrespectfull of woman; lives in Staten Island or Howard Beach, Queens; gives Italians a bad name although it's okay for Italians to be guidos as long as they dont share the aassholee attitude that most guidos do.
"Nice valour suit, you look like a guido"
by DiZzY DeViL dUcKy January 10, 2004
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An adolescent or young-adult American male of Italian ancestry or descent; esp. one of lower-middle-class socioeconomic background or status and thought of as being dim-witted, excessively aggressive, and prejudiced against perceived outsiders, particularly homosexuals and members of other races.
The Bensonhurst section of Brooklyn is widely regarded by the rest of New York City as a "Guido" stronghold.
by Anthony Brancato April 19, 2003
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A man of Italian decent, who, after he has finished snorting obnoxious amounts of cocaine and fist bumped holes into your wall, would like nothing more than to take a power dump on your couch to assert his dominance and convert your daughters ez-bake oven into a tanning bed for his dick. Traditionaly a guido's goal in life is to make trashy classy.(i.e. designer wifebeaters). Guido's have often been described as a gym rat/date rapist with class.
Guy 1: " Bromeo have you heard from Tony B"
Guy 2: " Ya I was at his house yesterday. He just sat in his chair and did nothing but use his shake weight for 2 hours while maintaining that " it's not guy unless a guy actually splooges all over your face." And only then because it could ruin ones spray on tan."
Guy 1: " What a guido."
by dslice1234 January 2, 2012
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A normally tan individual that is constantly thinking about himself and ways to make him appear cool, such as: Going to the gym, Taking a variety of vitamins and supplements, Tanning, Constantly grooming his blowout/facial hair, Partaking in an excessive amount of photos, Clubbing, Wearing very expensive/tight clothing, Bragging
Look at that fuckin guido, he has over 1,500 pictures on facebook and hes making the same face in everyone.
by bpalms May 2, 2008
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a person so uneducated that he judges the success of another individual by the amount of jewelry or car they drive.
this really happened: I met a Guido at my company's training seminar and one of our speakers was Tony Jeary, who is known in certain circles, but Guid' goes, " I dunno, he ain't got no nice watch. ring or nuthin (it's hard to type this and keep from laughing), so he ain't doin that good."
by Kathryn Stone June 1, 2003
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A sad excuse for a male. Guido's spend most of their time at the Jersey shore at a bar called Dejays. There, you can find them pounding yegabombs and hitting on under age girls. The guido attire consists of shirts two sizes too small. They will then pop the collar on their shirt and undo about three or so buttons to reveal their shaven and tanned (sometimes with ingrown hairs) chest. Guidos will wear sunglasses not just during the day but also at night and inside dark night clubs. This makes them feel cool and "gangsta". They are usually involved in many violent attacks where usually 10 of them will jump one single person. This is due to their rage brought on by growth hormones and steroid which have an effect on their already undeveloped brains. Also known as Douche bags, the guido will idolize TV shows such as The Sopranos or Entourage and will try to impress douche bag girls with their Tony Montana (AlPacino in Scarface) impersonation. As mentioned before, it is best not look directly at them as this will make them feel threatened, and because they have usually overdosed on Protein powder and steroids, they may become violent and initiate a fight for no reason at all.
" Eww look at that Guido..he's all prickly. He obviously didn't shave his chest and arms today."

"What a douche"
by whatahell May 29, 2009
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