A saucy grandad with a 12 inch schlongg, loves a cheeky saville inspired bum in the shower. Likes to drive minibuses with 20 kids in the back.
"How longs the journey sir?"
"12 inches"
Lectures on windage may result in a cheeky finger and a smirk to wake you up.
"How long's your barrel?"
"How longs the journey sir?"
"12 inches"
Lectures on windage may result in a cheeky finger and a smirk to wake you up.
"How long's your barrel?"
by grevs February 10, 2017
Get the major johnson mug.by Tommy Dub August 29, 2006
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When you feel that your dump is going to be massive to an extent that you feel it is impossible to take it somewhere other than your own toilet, due to the amount of gases you might release that could turn out very embarrassing.
by Shaiz October 17, 2011
Get the Major Dump mug.Something that is essential to have in a certain situation. Can be in the form of advice, or a some sort of object.
by ItsMeMaxK May 10, 2016
Get the major key mug.It is a way to masterbate where you jack off normally, but before you nut, you squat down as low as you can to the ground and breathe short shallow breaths while still whacking it. This part is called "Getting in the shuttle."
As you nut, you jump up from that squatting position as fast as you possibly fucking can and hold your breath. This is considered "Take off."
If performed correctly, you should become VERY lightheaded and experience pure bliss due to the orgasm from your cock rocket. This is called "Being in space" due to the fact you feel like you're floating.
This is a technique that should be performed only by professionals, in a controlled environment. By hyperventilating and jumping up, you are literally cutting your brain off from oxygen. No oxygen = no consciousness.
After passing out you come crashing down with a thunderous boom. This is called "Reentry"
It is at this point where your mother walks in to see you laying there covered in your "Star Dust". Be sure to glare at her with the confidence of Buzz Aldrin. She will then stomp out of the room without saying a word. This part is called "Disappointing your mother."
Credit u/Lemiius
As you nut, you jump up from that squatting position as fast as you possibly fucking can and hold your breath. This is considered "Take off."
If performed correctly, you should become VERY lightheaded and experience pure bliss due to the orgasm from your cock rocket. This is called "Being in space" due to the fact you feel like you're floating.
This is a technique that should be performed only by professionals, in a controlled environment. By hyperventilating and jumping up, you are literally cutting your brain off from oxygen. No oxygen = no consciousness.
After passing out you come crashing down with a thunderous boom. This is called "Reentry"
It is at this point where your mother walks in to see you laying there covered in your "Star Dust". Be sure to glare at her with the confidence of Buzz Aldrin. She will then stomp out of the room without saying a word. This part is called "Disappointing your mother."
Credit u/Lemiius
I performed a Major Tom last night. I still have not left my room. I don't know what to say to my mom.
by Peanuts and the Gang June 30, 2019
Get the Major Tom mug.by Andrew06 August 8, 2006
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