Jared

Jared. Well, Jared. Personally, i think he's cute. I'm sure he would make a great partner. I imagine his love to be hard, like, soft in his heart but hard in his head. His head sometimes stands in his way. Don't get me wrong, a head is very useful at times, very important. But sometimes it ruins the mood, doesnt it.

Jared needs to be affirmed that he is the one you're looking out for. Otherwise he will send a drone to your balcony checking on you. Believe me, He will! 🖤

Jared, you smumph, come here you sillix! Give us a hug.

by Krkič June 4, 2019

Jared H

A dry texter who flexes his tesla and him skateboarding for 6 months. He's a bit of a man whore and claims to have many hoes but rlly likes this one smoth. His crush's dick is bigger than his and a baby pulls off his fashion better than his dog. Jared H likes to send forehead pics but videos to the lucky ones that don't necessarily send them back.

Izzie: Oh look it's jared H, the one with the miniscule dick.
Sylvie: Is he gonna attempt to kickflip again?
*Jared H falls on his face*
Amber and Esther: classic Jared H

by Jizziewizzie June 4, 2020

jam jarred

when you make a bong out of a jam jar and you get really stoned from it.

Miguel: Hey Liam, lets hit that jam jar bro.
liam: Damn bro, i dont wanna greenout are you sure?

Miguel: Do it bro. Hitting a Jam Jar is the best
"Liam hits bong"
I just got jam jarred bro

by swiggityswoogy November 19, 2015

Jared Followill

Actually not a guitarist! He's the basist - get your facts straight woman!

Jared looks so face-meltingly cool when he plays (bass)

by Rosie January 1, 2005

Whaddup I'm Jared I'm 19 and I never fucking learned how to read

Whaddup I'm Jared I'm 19 and I never fucking learned how to read is a vine reference used by nostalgic people who miss vine

"Hey could you read page 21 for the class?"
"No I can not WHADDUP I'M JARED I'M 19 AND I NEVER FUCKING LEARNED HOW TO READ

by Kirbylove May 6, 2018

Jared Fogle

Add in Subway commercials, he used to be a fatass eating Big Macs and Fried Butter but then he became anorexic and secretly had liposuction and all the people in the world listen to him. Subway is one of my favorite restaurants but Jared makes Subway look like curves.

Jared Fogle: Hey i lost weight eating Subway
Me: U lying dipshit (Feeds Jared some Fried Candy Bars)
Jared Fogle: Nooooooooo

by Flippydaslasher December 2, 2007

Jared

Basically God himself.

Dude, I worship Jared everynight.

by Fuckme456 January 14, 2018