schmong

Placeholder word that has no concrete denotative meaning, but a mildly negative connotative meaning. Typically used to describe or brand low-quality products or associates. Coined in Tempe, Arizona in 1993.

I can't stand that effing SchmongTech computer!
Ugh. That guy's a total schmong.

by B.J. Black August 11, 2006

Schmong

To fuck up, or obliterate; to hurt severely

If I see Kevin today, I’m gonna schmong his ass!

by CamBrodian February 2, 2018

Schlong control

The ability of a man to maintain an erection during sex and to ejaculate exactly when he decides.

A lady always appreciates a considerate lover who has excellent schlong control.

by Chad Apollo May 30, 2018

Long schlong telegong

Long schlong telegong is a common phrase among german teachers when singing along loudly in the classroom. It can be written as Ľ0ňğ Șçhĺòńğ Țėľêğõňğ, too.

"Yeah Ľ0ňğ Șçhĺòńğ Țėľêğõňğ ❤️❤️❤️", sings my teacher. "Aiaiaiaiiai Long schlong telegong", answers my colleague.

by gollomosh September 3, 2022

schlongpire

Similar to a vampire, however instead of feeding on blood they feed on penis. They'll become ornery with the absence of sucking penis for too long. BE CAREFUL.

"Wow, Darren is awfully moody today."
"That's because he's a schlongpire and hasn't fed in many moons, keep your distance."

by Triwinning June 27, 2016

Schrödinger's Schlong

If the frontal genitalia of a person is not visible during sexual activities then it is both gay and not gay at the same time

Bro is that trap porn? You gay
Nah dude, Schrödinger's Schlong
Shit homie my bad

by Spumbag257 November 11, 2018

Schlong Doggled

Hoodwinked, Bamboozled, tricked, conned. To be taken advantage of.

That bitch schlong doggled me into buying her dinner and didn't even give it up...

by bobondeez February 23, 2013