embalmed

To be inebriated to the point where you are already dead and your corpse has been treated with preservatives in order to prevent decay.

Darius: Dude, you drank so many Irish car bombs last night you really made me nervous. You were completely embalmed.

Geraldine: LOL, that mortician fuckin' freaked when I rose up off the table. Let's get some snow cones!

<The two friends high five, hop on their scooters and ride to the nearest Sonic.

by Lord HJ Mumpleton July 24, 2009

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embalmed

To drink so much of a particular drink that one enters a state whereby the alcohol overwhelms the body.

Ryan was embalmed in Limoncello on a recent trip to Naples.

by km133 July 19, 2012

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Embalmed

This is a term that classifies someone who is BEYOND wasted, basically wasted to the point, it's like most of their bloodstream has been replaced with alcohol, which can be used to preserve stuff in some ways, much like embalming fluid is used to preserve a dead body

Oh my fucking god, I got SO embalmed at the party last night...did I do anything stupid??

by Metallicajunkie October 8, 2018

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Embalmer

A Word used by a Baltimore resident (city or county) to explain that they are indeed IN Baltimore.

"IM EMBALMER HON!"

by skeetdrums March 22, 2012

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Embalmer

A) One whose days begin when your days end....

B) A glutton for punishment. One who apparently relishes being regularly exposed to bloodborne pathogens,dangerous chemicals, noxious fumes , unwholesome odors, and psychotic members of the deceased's family, all for a substandard wage.

A) As an embalmer, it is my professional duty to sanitize, deodorize, preserve, and restore the deceased.

B) When a family is unhappy with the appearance of the deceased, it is certain that the emblamer will be blamed.

by dodgebabe8788 September 6, 2009