A muffin is a human female who engages in inauthentic friendly interactions with other parties despite having largely neutral or out right ill-will towards said parties. A muffin commonly expresses to these parties that she is a true "
BFF" or that she would later like to "hang out". No further evidence of "
BFF" status is ever provided. Appointments to "hang out" are either solidified and later dropped by the muffin, or more routinely never given a concrete date and time. Other common attributes of muffins inclue: Saccharine insincerity, talking badly of others behind their backs despite being kind to them in person, and
Facebook pictures which involve the thrusting forward of
one'
s bosom in an
awkward attempt to posture attractively.
(Actual Interaction between a PERSON and a MUFFIN as recorded at a college town social event
9/25/2010)
MUFFIN: Oh, hi there. I haven't seen you in like
forever.
PERSON: Oh,
hi. How are you doing?
MUFFIN: I am doing so great. Isn't this the coolest place in the world? This is my favorite place to go ever.
PERSON: Yeah, it's alright I guess. How have you be-
MUFFIN: Remember when we took that absolutely awful class with that professor who smelled like old Rice Krispies. That class was so stupid.
PERSON: Uh, yeah, I guess.
MUFFIN: You know what? We should hang out. Seriously, you were like my
best friend in that class. We were practically like sisters. We gotta do something.
PERSON: Oh, sure. You doing anything next weekend? We could grab some lunch.
MUFFIN: Oh no. I'm super busy that day, but you are on my
Facebook, right?
PERSON: Um...
MUFFIN: *using cellphone* I just sent you a request. That'll be 1263 for me. *giggle* Oh
hi, Jessica, I haven't seen you in
forever. You know you are my best- *walks away*
PERSON: *shrug* Bye?
