Masturbreak 

When you take a break from work (or play) specifically to have a wank.

If you lot are going out for a smoke, I'm fucking off for a masturbreak. See you back here in 5 minutes.

I am being sacked from my job because apparently I take "too many" masturbreaks. WHERE'S MY HUMAN RIGHTS?

I had been writing my essay for a solid 35 minutes when I thought "fuck it, you've earned a masturbreak by now, you fucking hero".

Masturbreak by Dr Sausage June 12, 2018

Masturbaker's dozen 

The pinnacle of all dedicated feckless cum-shedders whereby the participant aims to ejaculate more than 13 times in a 24 hour period. 13 loads in generally accepted by industry insiders as being the level that separates the men from the boys.

'I did it , I did the masturbaker's dozen! Admittedly the last six were with a floppy and the jizz was purely gaseous, but by golly I finally did it. Now it's off to the doctor for me to get some ointment for the blisters and tennis elbow..'

Masturbaker's dozen by Anonymous submissions December 10, 2016

Masturbreaker

A person for whom masturbation is so vigorous an activity that, in the process of self-pleasuring nearby objects become broken or damaged.

My old roommate was a masturbreaker. His room always looked like there had just been an earthquake.

Masturbreaker by D.S. Credito March 9, 2015

masturbearding 

To stroke one's beard with great intensity, almost as if the act is sexually gratifying.

I couldn't concentrate on the professor's lecture because he was masturbearding the whole time.

masturbearding by internetsensation May 27, 2009

Masturbeat 

The act of masturbating with one self to the beat of a song. Can also be used in other tenses such as; Masturbeating or Masturbeated.

Billy just told me how much the band Dragonforce has changed his life since he only used to masturbeat to Rick Astley.

Masturbeat by William O'brien October 6, 2012

Masturbration

When one masturbates in celebration of something

Jono was so overjoyed that he got into the University of Southern California that he ran back home to masturbrate!

"Everytime i kill a bad guy in COD 4, there's no other way to celebrate but masturbration"

Masturbration by J0/\/O February 23, 2010

Masterbreading 

Pleasuring your reproductive organs with bread

"What's she doing" said Joe "Probably Masterbreading upstairs"

Masterbreading by Masterbreader May 9, 2018