masterbawling

1. The act of masturbating while overly upset.
2. Reaching orgasm while ugly crying.
3. The current head of the Bawling family.

Having had many adult beverages and feeling very sad, Phil began masterbawling to a particularly attractive P4P on The Dirty. masturbate bawling

masterbawling by PhilPerrier September 1, 2015

Masturbowling 

The act of smoking marijuana by one's self, esp. after failing to locate a partner to smoke with you.

"Annie and Jane said they wanted to blaze with me, but they left with Tom so now I'm stuck masturbowling."

You: "You wanna go get some food?"
Me: "Give me ten minutes, I'm trying to masturbowl in here."
You: "......whatever you do, please wash your hands."

Masturbowling by tightnbright October 22, 2011

masterbassing 

The act of self pleasure while listening to dubstep or any other bass heavy music.

Toby: Did you see Danny at that Excision concert last night?
Luke: Yeah man, he was totally masterbassing all over the place.
Toby: And when that bass dropped?
Luke: Yeah...I'm pretty sure Danny had to change his pants afterward.

masterbassing by whitepeoplelikedubsteptoo! February 20, 2011

masterbating with a cheese grater 

Doing a task that is not a good idea

Moving this piano without help is like masterbating with a cheese grater.

masterbating with a cheese grater by matt1975 September 10, 2012

masterbating 

Expertly jacking off.

Guy 1:Man, I think steve's masturbating again.
Guy 2: From the sound of it, he ain't just masturbating, he's MASTERbating.

masterbating by Sir Fizwheel Humperdink October 5, 2007

stealth masterbating 

When one wacks off as quietly as possible so as to not disturb the people in the same room.

Sam: I hope no one notices I am stealth masterbating
Girl friend: Sam ... are you wacking off!!!!
Sam: Oh Shit!

stealth masterbating by themanwiththeplan9192 April 4, 2010

Masterbating Monkey 

A primate creature who masterbates.

"Monkey Masterbation Spotting" has become a hobby in the South American State of illinois. A well known competitor in the sport of of Monkey Masterbation Spotting is Fred Phelps, a very vocal and fanatically religeous biggot.

The monkey wrapped his primate hand around his primate pink penis, and masterbated furiously untill he fell out of his tree. Fred Phelps watched in glee as he photographed the event so he could show the pictures to his family.

Masterbating Monkey by Gordon Freeman October 31, 2004