Assues

(Contraction - Ass + Issues) An unfavorable or unpleasant state or condition of one's asshole. May be caused by Hemorrhoids, bad ass hygiene or that Habanero soaked enchilada from last night.

Dude, you got any Tucks, or Prep-H? I'm having some serious assues today.

Assues by MaxfieldP June 21, 2006

Mutually Assured Distraction 

The practice of distracting others in a manner assuring that neither party gets any work done.

We were both working on our papers but then she started chatting with me on Facebook and it was mutually assured distraction after that.

Mutually Assured Distraction by Big South February 22, 2010

Facebook assumption 

A very common mistake among gossipy and gullible teens. Its just making assumptions based on snooping people's facebooks, Such as assuming a guy wants to be with a girl if they have a back and forth wall post exchange. Its easy to keep up with information like this because news feeds inform you about everyone's activities and posts. Can also be Myspace assumptions.

Scenario 1: Teen 1: Dude, I think Karl likes Marissa, he posted almost 10 comments on her wall

Wiser Teen 2: Naw man, don't be making facebook assumptions. Facebook posts do not an attraction make.

Scenario 2: Dude 1: I'm so juiced, that cute freshman just sent me 5 messages, I'm definitely asking her out now.

Dude 2: Man, she hasn't even said hi to you in person yet. You're making a facebook assumption. I expected more of you.

Facebook assumption by bt-man January 6, 2009

assumblossom 

a point of attention that when focused on reveals its own absence while continuously spawning new infinitely distant proportions unobservable duplicates of itself trying to be known as something when in actuality it is NOT.

All reside in the assumblossom, chase the assumblossom, assume it is and watch it blossom, then come around eventually to realize nothing was there except the assumblossom. chasing your tail the rabbit hole yin yang universe

assumblossom by didimentionall speak May 7, 2011

assumination 

When an individual practices the act of assuming.

He needs to stop practices assumination just because he thinks he knows the situation.

assumination by Tze612 June 9, 2016

Assumi 

A derogatory term to describe an annoying, foolish or manipulative person. Or a person who's just an ass in general.

"Stop being such an Assumi and shut up."

Assumi by Mythrudra November 16, 2021

mutually assured 

Normally heard in the context of `mutually assured destruction`; when something is mutually assured, it is guaranteed to happen to both parties involved. This phrase is normally linked to discussions involving nuclear weapons, where `mutually assured destruction` means that we are all guaranteed to die.

Hindsight is always 20-20
But looking back it's still a bit fuzzy
Speak of mutually assured destruction?
Nice story...tell it to Reader's Digest!

- Megadeth, _Sweating Bullets_

mutually assured by Wingchild September 13, 2003