car / penis theorem 

The relation between car size and penis size. The car / penis theorem denotes the relationship between a vehicle owned by a male and the size of his sexual organ. As the size and overall cost of the vehicle increases, the average penis size of that vehicle's owners decreases in a linear fashion.

For example, according to the car / penis theorem, a man who's car is a 1992 Honda Civic (assuming that it isn't riced up) should have a penis size of approximately 7 inches erect. On the other end of the scale, the average male Lamborghini owner has an erect penis length of about 3 inches.

car / penis theorem by Qbou3mT March 6, 2015

Theoretical Friend 

Old friends that you never really hear from anymore, apart from the occasional Text msg, Email or fleeting birthday card, that always contains one of the phrases: "we should meet up, hang out, do something, I'll call you..." but never actually make any arrangements. These are good on paper mates, those that bump up your personal sense of popularity but never actually see. Friends in theory.

"Are you kidding, Annie's not going to come, she's a Theoretical Friend..."

Theoretical Friend by KimberleyStrange July 16, 2008

theoretical high five 

A high five which does not actually take place. The THF is initiated, followed by a short pause and then the uttering of the word "nice" by both participants.

Girl: Theoretical high five!
*short pause*
Girl + Guy: Nice!

theoretical high five by Devin & Sarah January 10, 2008

theoretical cougar 

A woman of cougar age (usually divorced, separated or unmarried). She doesn't hunt younger men. Instead she lusts at them and mentions it to her close friends and/or relatives in private.

Mom (in a whisper): "Meredith, you see those 5 guys over there? They're hot! Aren't they?"

Meredith: "OMG Mom!!! Those guys are all my age!!!"

Mom (still whispering): "Yeah, I know. But I'd love to get with one of 'em. Too bad I could never tell them that."

Meredith: "You're such a theoretical cougar"

theoretical cougar by blacksburgcougee November 19, 2011

Theorectumly 

according to a theory of an idea pulled out of one's ass

Theorectumly, there is a universe in an infinite number of universes in which I am smarter than an average garden gnome.

Theorectumly by ThatOneGuy-_- February 23, 2022

infinite pinocchio theorem 

A method of abusing Pinocchio's omniscient powers to obtain the secrets of the universe.

Do Aliens exist? Let's just use infinite pinocchio theorem theorem!

infinite pinocchio theorem by burtmack December 24, 2021

theorem of facebook circularity

If someone finds a random person on Facebook and clicks on a random friend, then clicks on that random person's random friend and so on and so forth, then the original person (the clicker) will eventually circle back until they find someone with a "mutual friend."

Bob sees Sally's profile. In Sally's profile, Bob click's on Terry's friend icon. After being rerouted to Terry's profile, Bob clicks on Jerry's friend icon...etc...until Bob finds a mutual friend. This is due to the "theorem of facebook circularity."

theorem of facebook circularity by hitherehowareyou?good?good... April 12, 2010