Self-Absorbed Sodomizer 

Someone who tapes a mirror to the back of their partner's head during anal sex.

That jerk couldn't find any other way to get going so he strapped a mirror to my head, he's such a self-absorbed sodomizer!

Self-Absorbed Sodomizer by itsthatbradguy July 11, 2010

self-absorbed

A condition where there are two possiblities. you have either simple haughtiness and arrogance, the more commonly implied meaning. however there are those who have an equally obnoxious affect, but which comes not from pride, rather their constant exclusive occupation with their own feelings. Theirs is not the slight narcissism of the former, rather one who has a graduated notion of the sanctity of their own emotions.

Every time I open my mouth, the guy cringes at some perceived insult or lack of regard for his notion of social delicacy. I find when he finally opens his mouth that he is not totally without compassion, but just that his compassion extends mostly to himself, that he is self-absorbed, and frankly, wretched.

self-absorbed by hfontana July 27, 2016

Self Absorbed Emo 

emo bitch psycho Girl who tells shit about you, just so she can see her long-distance boyfriend that she is cheating on. Self Absorbed Emos are commonly whores, and bitch a lot about how everyone is not good enough for them. The Self Absorbed Emo is clearly emo, but will deny it until their untimely death.

"Claire told her parents I made her smoke weed so that her parents would let her go to Pheonix to see her boyfriend. I can't believe my best friend would say such shit! She is such a Self Absorbed Emo. She was talking about suicide the other day, what a weirdo."
"Word up man."

Self Absorbed Emo by Alex Koppell December 14, 2008

over emotional self absorbed cunt bag

The fucking jackass named Jacob Paddy.

When someone is in the hospital because they're fucking retarded they cut themself and they try to blame it on you, when all you've done is help.
"You my good hoe, are an over emotional self absorbed cunt bag. "

over emotional self absorbed cunt bag by fagglepufflover69 July 18, 2016

absorbent thong

For those sassy seniors who have had it with those disturbingly obvious adult diapers.....say hello to Absorbent Thong! Our patented shoestring suction technology consumes every ounce of urine or poop it encounters!

I haven't felt like I was this young and sexy since i was young thanks to absorbent thong...did i leave the oven on?

Dude...check out that sweet ass!
Dude...shes like 70!!
I'd do her!!
Me too!!
Here's to Absorbant Thong!!

absorbent thong by Lunicus December 3, 2011

Plop Absorber

The act of positioning multiple layers of toilet paper on the water surface in the toilet, creating a cushion in order to prevent the water splashing or 'plopping' when a turd hits the surface, thus avoiding a loud noise being produced. The layers of tissue act as a cushion, absorbing sound energy of the turd . The art of Plop Absorbing is particularly useful when the toilet user wishes to remain anonymous to people outside of the bathroom.

Example 1:

Arnold: "FUCK YOU NICKI! I told you I needed the toilet first!"
Nicki: "Chill your beans fag-bag, I only need a pee ."

Arnold: "You better be only needing a fucking pee!"
*Nicki commences the Plop Absorbing process*

Example 2:
>Chucky is on the toilet, while Arnold is getting ready to go to a party listening to the radio.

>*Arnold turns radio off*
>*Chucky performs the Plop Absorber as the radio will no longer camouflage the noise*

Example 3:
barack ripped the tissue segments with anger and threw them into the toilet. However, his anger had caused him to miss the water and as a result the tissues were stuck on the side of the toilet bowl. Barack had unsuccessfully executed the Plop Absorber.

Plop Absorber by Cheesebreath101 May 9, 2011

absorbent 

able to absorb or soak up; heat, light, moisture, movement, etc.

"My flow is heavy this month; good thing these tampons are so absorbent!"
OR "Absorbent and yellow and poris is he!
Sponge-Bob-Square-Pants!"

absorbent by SPerrin October 16, 2008