The Long and the Short 

A phrase used at the end of an unbelievably long and boring story to summarize what you have just heard, thereby giving you both the long version and the short version of the story. It is often confused with the phrase to make a long story short, however, the speaker using this phrase has no intention of making the story short.

I want to tell you all about my amazing day, after borrowing your car this morning I went to the supermarket. At the supermarket I bought organic vegetables, but was not able to buy organic tomatoes. After the supermarket, I went to the hardware store ... When I was leaving the football stadium, this black sports car came racing towards me and collided into me head-on. The police were called, but no one was injured. I estimate the damage to your car will cost at least $20,000 to repair. The long and the short, I totaled your car!!

The Long and the Short by Superdragout January 19, 2010

Last Chicken in the Shop 

Used to describe the unsightly dangly assortment of genital objects when a bloke pulls down his pants in a public place. So called because it's always the most mangy looking chicken that is the last one sold in the supermarket

"oh shit, Ben must have had a few beers, he's getting out the last chicken in the shop again"

"yeah mate - but it's more a poussin than a chicken"

Last Chicken in the Shop by KiplingThankyouPlease May 2, 2008

Call the Shot

1. To dictate how a situation or agenda proceeds, as from a position of authority.
2. To decide on the course of action; to be in charge.
3. Fig: To make the decisions; to decide what is to be done.

1. I'm the boss, and I call all the shots here! Mom calls the shots for Thanksgiving dinner, so you better get her approval for any dish you want to bring.
2. Why do you have to call all the shots? Do what you're told. I'll call the shots.
3. Sally always wants to call the shots, and Mary doesn't like to be bossed around. They don't get along well. Sally always wants to call the tune.

Call the Shot by Jessie Christie May 24, 2018

the shocker 

AKA:
2 in the curtain, 1 for the hurtin'
2 in the front, 1 in the shunt
2 in the fun, 1 in the bun
2 going down, 1 in the brown
2 in the Red, 1 in the Shed(if that time of the month)
2 for the gish, 1 for the fish
2 in the gash, 1 in the stash
2 for the crack, 1 in the back
2 in the slit, 1 in the shit
2 for the taco, 1 for her Paco
2 in the door, 1 on the floor
2 in the door, 1 in the gore
2 for the friend, 1 in the end
2 in the cunt, 1 in the runt
2 for the moose, 1 in the caboose
2 for the beav, 1 up her sleeve
2 for the meat, 1 in her seat
2 in the flap, 1 in the crap
2 in the gear, 1 in the rear
2 for the pumper, 1 for the dumper
2 for the tube, 1 with some lube
2 in the cunt, 1 in the grunt
2 in the sock, 1 for the shock
2 in the junk, 1 in the trunk
2 in the girl, 1 in the swirl
2 in the skunk, 1 in the funk
2 in the zipper, 1 in the flipper
2 in the place, 1 in the ace
2 in the cootie, 1 in the booty
2 in the porn, 1 for the corn
2 for the push (gush), 1 for the tush
2 in the pink slot, 1 in the stink pot
2 in the juice, 1 in the caboose
2 in the poon, 1 on the moon
2 up the river, 1 to make you shiver
2 in the hinge, 1 makes you cringe
2 from the hand, 1 for the gland
2 for the stabbin, 1 for the cabin
2 in the muff, 1 in the stuff
2 in the play, 1 in the gay
2 in the chute, 1 in the poot
2 for her, 1 for me!! Gross!!
2 in the pocket, 1 in the chocolate
2 for the Kitty, 1 in the Shitty
2 in the cherry, 1 in the fairy
2 for the team, 1 in the steam

And finally,...One of my personal favorites:
2 IN THE PLEASURE, 1 IN THE TREASURE!!!

That's all I got for now.....

Being at work is so fun...Hope a few of those mad you laugh...or dry...or barf.

the shocker by The Hunter May 27, 2004

ride the shoulder 

Thrusting between the labia or "camel toe," or ass cheeks, without penetration.

Before the sudden lane-change I opted to ride the shoulder in order to lull her.

ride the shoulder by Napoleon Bonerhard November 17, 2006

The Shotgun Method 

The method of hooking up (generally used in by males) by talking to a large number of people of the opposite sex, trying to hook up with them. From the large number of tries the chances are high for at least one hookup to succeed. It can also have a bad effect on the person using the method if all of the potential hookups reject or fail.

Me: How is George, man?

Friend: Idk, he's kinda down, all of the chicks he wanted to hookup with using the shotgun method rejected him.

Me: Shit, that sucks, I told you he gay.

The Shotgun Method by WhoKnowsXD May 21, 2019

the short bus 

Slow thought process. It refers to the bus that transports the disabled kids to and from school, not to be confused with the senior citizen's bus.

Did you come in on the short bus today?

the short bus by friendsoftina January 5, 2004