Insomnia 

The inability to sleep like regular individuals. As much as you tell yourself you’ll sleep that night, your mind just won’t shut down. Medications won’t work, meditation helps. (It’s all in your little crazy head.)

Insomniac: FUCK! It’s 3 am.. Oh well.. looks like I won’t be sleeping. *Grabs phone, Clicks on Pornhub Video*
Fuck yeah.

Friend: "I slept like a baby last night! Love how I can sleep 8 hours errr’night. How’d you sleep?

You: Go lick my butthole. I have insomnia you dick.

Insomnia by Petiteone September 14, 2018

Insomnia 

A common health problem characterised by difficulty in either falling or staying asleep. It can occur on its own (primary) or as a result of another medical disorder, such as depression (secondary).

Insomnia can be debilitating.

Insomnia by Doc_B April 16, 2015

insomnia 

The state of sleep loss. No matter how much you desire dreamland, it refuses you entry. You stand at the gates, whining, crying, but stuck in the world of buzzing activity.

Person A: "I had a lovely night sleep. How 'bout you?"

Person B: "I have insomnia. Go fuck yourself."

insomnia by BeFunnyGrace November 26, 2003

insomnia 

The inability to sleep, because your body and the universe teamed up and decided to hate you.

Tess: I can never get to sleep! Argh, this insomnia is driving me crazy.
Elle: Have you tried warm milk? Ooh, or turning your pillow over? Because that always helps me.
Tess: ....do you KNOW the meaning of insomnia?

insomnia by SleeplessInMelbourne December 9, 2010

Insomnia 

The biggest whore in the universe to humans. Takes up all your time and effort just to fuck with your head and then leaves you depraved and indifferent to reality for a long, long time. Can be induced through psychosis, mania, chemical imbalance, drugs such as Cocaine, LSD, Mescaline, Nicotine, caffeine (even though you need a metric fuck ton of it to do so) and Pharmaceuticals (only if you get the rebound effect, which is shitty as fuckkk!)

Insomnia, you cunt, go fucking choke on a sperm sandwich and die!

Insomnia by T.S. Scriber January 4, 2013

insomnia 

The worst thing...ever.
I've had it my whole life.
It's where you try to sleep but it just won't happen.
You try counting backward you try EVERYTYING..
You just don't sleep.
Hence, me sitting here at 2:00 am when I have to wake up in 4 hours.

Elise:Hey Lauren, how was your night?
Lauren:It sucked..I have insomnia so I couldn't sleep
Elise:haha sucks for you
Lauren:*Punches elise in the face*

insomnia by kill_me_already April 13, 2008

Insomnia 

Insomnia is a sleeping disorder. There are various different types of insomnia, depending on a number of factors.

Transitory insomnia affects an individual for only a few nights. Short term insomnia may last several days or a couple weeks. Chronic insomnia lasts several weeks or even months.

Insomnia may affect different parts of the sleep cycle. A person with insomnia may have little trouble falling asleep, but find that they wake up after only a few hours and cannot fall back asleep for several more, if at all. A person may also have immense difficulty falling asleep, only to find that they can't stay asleep for any meaningful length of time.

Having a sleep cycle longer or shorter than 24 hours does not necessarily constitute insomnia, however it may be a sign of another sleeping disorder, and should not be ignored. Staying up late and sleeping in is not insomnia either, as insomnia constitutes an inability to get enough sleep, and not an inability (or unwillingness) to get to sleep at the right time. Many people believe that they have insomnia, or claim to have insomnia, who actually only have one of the above problems.

The author of this definition fell asleep at about 8:30 PM last night, and woke up at about 12:00 AM. It is now about 7:00 AM, and he has still not been able to return to sleep, despite attempts to sedate himself repeatedly with milk, music, and masturbation. This difficulty has persisted in a like manner for several weeks. It is likely that he suffers from some form of insomnia.

Insomnia by Five Six Five November 14, 2009