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unclog the system 

to self-felate in order to put an end to constipation, known statement from Bukowsky's "Post Office"
I haven't taken a shit in six days, I'm about to unclog the system.

Unclog the drain 

To fuck someone who is constipated in the ass and cum, whereby lubricating the anal passages and allowing the backed up shit to drain out.
My girl was complaining that she was constipated so I fucked her in the ass to unclog the drain
Unclog the drain by NinjaC0ck69 March 30, 2016

Unclog The Dog 

(1)A Metaphor For Masturbating
(2)To cure your pet K9 of constipation
Every time I go to the restroom I bring a Playboy and I unclog the dog
Unclog The Dog by EmJayee November 8, 2018

motherfucking piece of shit, unclog you god damn whore dog dick

What you say in a rhythm/beat when you're trying to unclog your sink. Made popular by Charles Green from Angry Grandpa.
"Motherfucking piece of shit, unclog you god damn whore dog dick!
I FUCKING HATE YOU!"

will unclog a toilet and clean up cat-puke 

One of the "prime" features that any sensible-minded gal --- especially one with one or more furry feline companions --- secretly jopes to see in a guy's "about me" details when perusing the personals ads.
Ladies, if a dude whom you're dating treats you respectfully and is a cheerful-natured helper and therefore "will unclog a toilet and clean up cat-puke" without grumbling or without even being asked to do it, hang onto him for dear life --- he's d-e-f-i-n-i-t-e-l-y a "keeper", hands down!

Unclogging the pipes 

1. It is another way of saying male masturbation.

2. Refers to that one clump of constipation blocking up a load of diarrhea.
Person a: Why were you in the toilet for so long?
Person b: sorry man, was unclogging the pipes.
Person a: That's disgusting.
(Applies to both definitions)