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weasel1969's definitions

Measurable Eternity

A known period of time that isn't really that long but still seems to take forever.

Examples:

The last day of school before summer vacation begins.

The last 10 minutes of work before a 3 day weekend.

Waiting through all the ads and trailers before the movie you went to see starts.

Any business meeting.
Our weekly staff meeting at work was another measurable eternity. With every minute that passed I could feel whole geological epochs passing.
by weasel1969 December 24, 2019
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Halloween

That one time of year when everybody thinks everyone in their neighborhood suddenly turns into a child poisoning psychopath.
October 30: "Oh howdy, neighbor! Can't wait for Halloween tomorrow. It's going to be a fun night. Make sure to bring plenty of candy for the kids."
October 31: "Check all the candy! The next door neighbor might have put drugs in it! We can't trust any of these people that we've lived next door to for years!"
by weasel1969 October 14, 2019
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danish landmine

I went to get a midnight snack and stepped on a danish landmine my kid had left in the kitchen. I couldn't walk for three days.
by weasel1969 October 12, 2017
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walmart greeter

The job a person gets when they wake up every morning, put a gun to their head, but can never summon enough willpower to pull the trigger.
As I entered the store, I was approached by the walmart greeter. Our eyes met for only a moment, but it was enough to see the deep, painful hopelessness in his gaze. Whoever the person he used to be had died long ago, leaving a spent shell, an automaton. An emotionless drone pretending to be a human being. "Good morning." he said to me. In subtext he might as well have said "Please kind stranger, kill me and end my existence, for I have not the strength to do it myself." Pity stayed my hand, and I made a mental note to avoid Walmart at all cost.
by weasel1969 July 6, 2010
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yeartardedness

An affliction suffered by millions of people starting in January and lasting 2 to 3 weeks. Said afflicted unconciously write the dates on checks, forms, documents, etc. as the date from the previous year.
Bank Teller: "Sir, you wrote the date on your check as 1/3/2008. Its actually 1/3/2009."
Me: "Damn my yeartardedness!"
by weasel1969 January 13, 2009
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midgitler

A combination of midget and Hitler. Describes a tyrannical boss or supervisor who is also a dwarf.
He: "That little asshole supervisor who makes the weekly schedule is making us work Saturday!"

Me: "What a fucking midgitler!"
by weasel1969 October 10, 2008
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whipping a pile of horse bones

The phrase "whipping a dead horse" means to attempt to revive a moot point or issue. "Whipping a pile of horse bones" means to keep making futile and pointless attempts to revive interest in something that no one has cared about for so long its rotted away into a skeleton of its former self.
AKA: The Simpsons

Seasons 1 through 6 were the best. By season 8, FOX and Matt Groening were whipping a dead horse. Which means for the last 10 seasons they have been whipping a pile of horse bones.
by weasel1969 October 9, 2008
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