Measurable Eternity

A known period of time that isn't really that long but still seems to take forever.

Examples:

The last day of school before summer vacation begins.

The last 10 minutes of work before a 3 day weekend.

Waiting through all the ads and trailers before the movie you went to see starts.

Any business meeting.
Our weekly staff meeting at work was another measurable eternity. With every minute that passed I could feel whole geological epochs passing.
by weasel1969 December 25, 2019
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Away and raffle your donut

A Scottish phrase that translates as "Go and sell your ass". "Raffle" meaning "sell" and "donut" meaning "ass". Said by Craig Ferguson on "The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson" on May 22, 2008.
McTeagle: Lend me 50 pounds to mend the shed.
McDonald: Away and raffle your donut ya wee girl!
by weasel1969 May 22, 2008
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walmart greeter

The job a person gets when they wake up every morning, put a gun to their head, but can never summon enough willpower to pull the trigger.
As I entered the store, I was approached by the walmart greeter. Our eyes met for only a moment, but it was enough to see the deep, painful hopelessness in his gaze. Whoever the person he used to be had died long ago, leaving a spent shell, an automaton. An emotionless drone pretending to be a human being. "Good morning." he said to me. In subtext he might as well have said "Please kind stranger, kill me and end my existence, for I have not the strength to do it myself." Pity stayed my hand, and I made a mental note to avoid Walmart at all cost.
by weasel1969 July 01, 2010
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nerds

noun: The most dangerous people in the entire world. Nerds have invented machine guns, assault rifles, armor piercing ammunition, high explosives, napalm, tanks, anti-personnel mines, torpedoes, cannons, surface-to-air missiles, fighter aircraft, bombers, submarines, destroyers, battleships, aircraft carriers, chemical and biological weapons, nuclear bombs, and ICBMs
Every weapon of mass destruction ever concieved of or built was concieved of or built by nerds.
by weasel1969 September 08, 2007
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money goggles

A cousin of beer goggles, but applicable to women. Just as beer goggles make unattractive women desirable to men, money goggles make unattractive men desirable to women. So a man can be a complete, misogynistic pig, but if hes a complete, misogynistic pig with 20 million dollars, women are willing to ignore the fact that he is a complete, misogynistic pig thanks to money goggles.
At first, Mindy hated the dirty, loud asshole at the end of the bar. When she found out he had a fleet of sports cars, a mansion in Florida and a Swiss bank account, she put on her money goggles and was soon fellating him in the back of his Rolls Royce.
by weasel1969 September 20, 2007
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midgitler

A combination of midget and Hitler. Describes a tyrannical boss or supervisor who is also a dwarf.
He: "That little asshole supervisor who makes the weekly schedule is making us work Saturday!"

Me: "What a fucking midgitler!"
by weasel1969 August 18, 2008
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dino buddy

noun: A character or creature in a movie, usually a sci-fi or fantasy, who exists solely to sell merchandise, toys and drink cups at McDonalds. Other than that, they add nothing to the plot. Named after a "Saturday Night Live" commercial parody from the 1990s called "Philadelphia Action Figures". The Tom Hanks figure had a flamethrower, net launcher and a "dino buddy" side kick.
Aniken Skywalker and his dino buddy, Jar Jar Binks walked into the cantina for a space beer.
by weasel1969 July 02, 2007
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