victor felix's definitions

hanser

An extremely talented, intelligent, often very attractive person who fails to live up to popular expectations, especially if mental health issues are involved (after Mark Hänser, a gifted but tormented Bostonian painter/poet/actor/performance artist who was offered a modeling contract soon after graduating from Harvard). Can also be used as a verb to describe the same.

She was offered a recording contract, but in her usual confused fashion, she hanser'd the opportunity and fell back into obscurity.

by Victor Felix July 11, 2006

Courtesy Suckle

A kindly gesture by a woman blessed with an ample, shapely busom who allows someone obsessed by her breasts to suckle her nipples as an erotic courtesy.

(Term coined by Mark Hänser of Boston, MA.)

Synonym: courtesy suck

Claudius was so obsessed by Aurelianne's massive, pillow-y breasts that she, flattered by his attention to them, allowed him a courtesy suckle.

by Victor Felix September 19, 2005

double-ugly

Refers to someone so very, very ugly that he or she can only be discribed as double-ugly. Similar to butt-ugly but twice as repulsive; hence the plural.

One of the first instances of "double-ugly" in print was in a classic "Tom and Jerry" comic book from the 1950s.

Alternative spellings include: double ugly, doubly-ugly. Using a dash is proper when spelling compound adverbs and adjectives.

"Ugly? He's beyond ugly - he's so fucking ugly he's double-ugly!"

by Victor Felix December 28, 2005

man-cunt

The anus of a male homosexual - a bottom - in the context of sexual penetration.

The term can also be used disparagingly to describe a gay male in the same way that the word "cunt" can be used disparagingly to describe a female of any orientation.

The man-cunt of the luscious young he-whore was much in demand, as many longed to probe his hole.

by Victor Felix September 5, 2005

pop tart

Actually, the use of "pop-tart" as an adjective for a slatternly pop singer was first coined by Mark Hänser in the Long Beach (California) Union Daily in 1983, first in reference to "Pat Bena-tart" then famously about Scandal's Patty Smyth (of "Goodbye To You" and "The Warrior" fame.)

By Mark Hänser, from the CSULB Union Daily's "finals week" issue of June, 1983:

"Pop Tart (pop tärt) n. 1. A delightful toaster pastry manufactured by Kellogg's of Battle Creek, MI. Often iced, the flaky treat is filled with either yummy fruits or some other sweet, such as chocolate or brown sugar-cinnamon. adj. 2. Patty Smyth, lead singer of the pop-rocking quintet Scandal. Possessing a certain fondness for leather-topped party dresses and long black gloves. Smyth follows in the footsteps of a long line of female perfomers who like to tease as much as torch. syn - Pat Benatar, Suzi Quatro."

by Victor Felix December 28, 2005

jazz-hole

The mouth of a horn-playing jazz musician. Sounds nasty (intentionally so), but it's not.

Lester's free-form sax playing was driving Bart nuts, so the frazzled Bart opened the window and yelled out, "Yo, man, shut your jazz-hole!"

by Victor Felix September 21, 2005

butt-ugly

A perjorative term for someone so ugly, so exceedingly unattractive. that he or she is as "ugly as a butt" (a misnomer, since many buttocks are beautiful indeed). A popular teen-age slang term since the 80s, "butt-ugly" most probably began as military slang c. World War II. Probably because enlisted men found nothing attractive about another enlisted man's hairy, sweaty, very possibly pimpled butt!

That dude is so butt-ugly that just the sight of him makes me wanna puke!

by Victor Felix September 6, 2005