Blummer

The applicable term to describe colossal disappointment that can only resemble being very close to accruing a blumpkin just to have the slut back out at the last minute.
ME: did i tell you of this slut that i fuggin got a blow job from last night bro?
JV: what? no haha do tell
ME: so.. im at this party. this chicks totally eye fuckin me. im drinkin heaps of beer and the smothered burrito i ate isnt sittin so hot on my belly. she ends up grabbin my junk and tells me to meet her in the bathroom. niiiiiize. but when i get there she was pukin her slutty cheap vodka up. i just shut the door and took a shit upstairs. talk about a blummer.
by umbels September 19, 2010
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Spicy Shotgun

In the course of a great BJ, the male applies a small trace of sri racha (or other spice) on his dick while she sucks... and then blows a spicy shotgun.
Jesse: So how drunk was this bitch?
Joe: Well... lets just say she had no idea about my upcoming spicy shotgun!!
Jesse: OMFG!
by umbels March 04, 2009
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Lobe Job

Yet another wonderful form of getting off without actually stickin your basilisk in her chamber of secrets. Most Lobe Jobs are performed on very scene bitches, and now guys! who have progressed from being just "emo" to "br00tal"

You stick yer dick in their fashionably worthless stretched ear lobe. Don't forget to lube that lobe, and for fun, jazz your finished product in their ear.
Jordan: dude... you know chelsea grin?
Me: yeah.. that retarded scene bitch?
Jordan: haha right... well last night i gave her a lobe job she'll never forget
Me: NICE! put that scene bitch in her place!
by umbels February 08, 2010
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The Sring of Fire

A most prosaic way of describing the hellishly painful burn when you eat enough Sri Racha that would even have 40 experienced thais holding their bellies all night.
I fell into a burning Sring of Fire.
I sat down, down, down and the flames went higher.
And it burns, burns, burns. The Sring of Fire.
The Sring of Fire.
by umbels March 27, 2011
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Hot Brigham

Whilst having sexual intercourse with a woman, either before or after ejaculation.. The male must defecate on her garments. Preferably the chest area. As to get a blasphemous extra-pleasure.
Joe: Isn't your new girlfriend mormon man? how does that work out?
Crackie: Oh.. how does it work out?? Well, let's just say the Hot Brigham I gave her last night worked out exquisitely!
Joe: Choice!!!
by umbels March 04, 2009
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baby butt bitch

the ultimate insult for any shitass being a baby butt bitch.
devin: yeah i fucked her for a whole hour and i didnt even cum.
ali b: dont lie you baby butt bitch. eat my butt.
by umbels November 17, 2009
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pubbed out

When any member of your party gets very very intoxicated. often leading to rants about animal rights and how the music scene used to be back in "his day" usually turns out to be the Pubby (see 2nd definition) of the group.
Me: duuuude... last night i got so pubbed out.
Trav: Really?? was it bad?
Me: lets just say all those assholes at the party wish they never met me.
by umbels February 04, 2010
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