96 - noun

1. A SFW sexual position.

-Similar to 69, however 96 involves no actual sexual action. The bottom partner, or the “9,” (usually the taller partner) lays face down on the mattress, while the top partner, or the “6,” (usually the shorter of the two) lays on top of the “9”, resting their feet of the upper back of “9” and resting their head on their calves or heels. Once in position, both partners now drift off into state of contemplation. Popular topics include but are not limited to; “Are we alone in the universe?”, “What is the human condition?” and “Is there a god?” Among others. Some also try to converse, but seeing as the bottom partner is being slightly smothered, they aren’t doing much talking. Some couples do the 96 fully clothed, on the opposite end of the spectrum some do it fully naked, however, most prefer to do the 96 in their underwear, as to keep it intimate, but not sexual.
“Hey honey, I want to try something else tonight, mix it up.”

“Do you feel like having an existential crisis?”

“Sure! But how do we do that?”

“We do the 96.”


“...but do you think it’s because they don’t want to contact us, or because they simply haven’t achieved a level of technology that high?”

“Mmmrrph. Hmm mmhhh.”

“Me too.”
by Sefrius January 15, 2020
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Its like a 69 but the couple is mad at each other.
Jannis and Douglas were in a 96 last night, could have been because Douglas accidentally ran over the cat with the lawnmower.
by TKinfinity July 17, 2019
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69 but backwards instead of giving each other oral pleasure u fart on each others heads.
Yo man that bitch 96'ed me so hard she left skid marks.
by SickFuck February 14, 2003
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Variation of 69;

Lay back-to-back with your heads at opposite ends of the bed and masturbate.
"Doing a 96 i have more control than doing 69 :D"
by y00m0mma February 7, 2007
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Jane and Jack are dyslexic, so they have 96 instead of 69.
by twiggy16 July 11, 2008
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when two lovers pleasure each other's Sphinchters instead of their genitalia.
hey Laura, let's do the 96 tonight instead of 69 ok?
by sphincter sargent May 31, 2015
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when you sleep over a friend's house, and there is only one bed and you don't feel like sleeping on the floor. So you lay facing one direction, next to each other and your friend faces the opposite back to back, your feet next to your friends face, representing the number 96. It is very awkward.
Guy 1: So how was your sleepover at Derrick's house last night?
Guy 2: Horrible, he has a wood floor that I couldn't sleep on, so i had to sleep on his bed, with him in the 96 position.

Guy 1: damn...
by ombop48 November 11, 2010
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