blackbelt in catheterism

a nurse who is expert at putting in catheters

doris was very suspicious. as kevin said he was inserting the catheter she noticed both his hands were on her shoulders. "don't worry doris, it's ok. I've got a black belt in catheterism"

by theWestHamfan December 27, 2003

prehensile clitoris

a clitoris that can grip objects. a.k.a. PC

it's just a rumour that kylie can shuffle cards with her prehensile clitoris but she can pick up £50 notes.

by theWestHamfan November 18, 2003

penis fly trap

an ability to lie extemely still whilst stretching ones foreskin in the shape of a large bell. when, at last, a fly lands on the glans, the foreskin is released thus trapping the fly.

the whole team lay there resting whilst exhibiting their penis fly traps. unfortunately for alan he caught a wasp!

by theWestHamfan November 11, 2003

velcroed

to get one's moustache inextricably entwined in one's partner's bearded oyster hair

mr & mrs pavarotti had become so firmly velcroed he could not sing at vinny's barmistva. instead they got coldplay

by theWestHamfan November 12, 2003

bunk up

to assist a climber by pushing him/her upwards

"'ere Stephen, g'is a bunk up, I'm nearly over this wall."

by theWestHamfan October 27, 2003

fart in a colander

flitting , birdlike, from one thing to another, lacking focus, lacking concentration.

"stone me, denis.""since i made you player/manager you're running around like a fart in a colander"

by theWestHamfan November 11, 2003

hole in one

to sexually penetrate a partner at the first attempt

trevor held her down, slapped her face, kicked her shins, and attempted a hole in one. unfortunately for him staffordshire bull terriers don't like this treatment and she turned and bit off his meat & two veg

by theWestHamfan November 25, 2003