Definitions by theWestHamfan

quimguzzle 

to definitely partake in a drink from the furry cup. to attempt cunnilingus

"oi sean, fancy a quimguzzle?" pleaded spicer. "not just at this moment, thanks debbie, im just starting a pocket billiards session."

quimguzzle by theWestHamfan December 18, 2003

turkey baster 

lesbian who wants to give birth to her own child. so called because of the infamous episode of Brookside when artificial insemination was attempted using a turkey baster

kevin thought he had scored when he pulled ms spicer at stringfellows only to discover she was a turkey baster

turkey baster by theWestHamfan December 17, 2003

ball stones 

hard gristle lumps that form in one's testicles during puberty

"in my opinion" sympathised the consultant "we will have to remove the veg part of trevor's meat and two veg"
"NOOO" screamed the semi-anaesthatised trevor "it's me GALL stones, not me BALL stones, you pillock"

ball stones by theWestHamfan December 15, 2003

y-fronts 

old-fashioned underpants so called because the fly is made up of an upside down Y shape allowing quick access but still affording cover

Chris "Y-fronts" B***** MP was so excited by Tony's first election victory that he lowered his trousers in public and started masturbating, while singing Things Can Only Get Better and inviting men to perform oral sex on him.
Call me old-fashioned, but what's wrong with a glass of champagne

y-fronts by theWestHamfan December 15, 2003

doughnut swirly 

when one is crapping and eating a doughnut at the same time; as one stands to wipe one's arse, one accidentally drops the doughnut into the pan. the dilemma is; should one pick out the doughnut, wash it under the tap, and carry on eating?

colin "what's that brown stain round your north and south kev?"
kevin "i've jus' finished a doughnut swirly."

doughnut swirly by theWestHamfan December 15, 2003

chuffed to fuck 

ecstatic, exceptionally happy over something

"i see alec's chuffed to fuck" commented kevin "one of his gnomes has just come third in the Miss Dagenham competition"
"blimey kev" retorted his dad "who came 1st & 2nd?"
"Two women from Keith Davis' snooker club"

chuffed to fuck by theWestHamfan December 13, 2003

lost in space 

to have sexual intercourse with a woman with an exceptionally large/loose vagina

"blimey sean" "I thought kev's next door neighbour was quite tasty 'til i gave her one - no good - lost in space"

lost in space by theWestHamfan December 10, 2003