theWestHamfan's definitions

flak jacket

home made condom. usually made from cling film secured with an elastic band. but can be made from old parachute silk or almost anything.

"what a funny flak jacket" giggled june across the road, "that's surely tonto, one of alec's prize gnomes"

by theWestHamfan November 17, 2003

faece furniture

IKEA, MFI etc.

ann & bernard went to buy a chair from IKEA but declined because it was faece furniture

by theWestHamfan November 17, 2003

cock shy

1. a person too frightened to have a sexual encounter
2. a sex game where three males with erections stand in formation and the opposing team throw ring doughnuts over the erections - like quoits

1. timid and cock shy she may be - but she loved her rampant rabbit.
2. "we were winning the cock shy by nine points" said trevor dejectedly, "when alec lost his erection and all his doughnuts simply dropped off."

by theWestHamfan November 17, 2003

cock sync

to be in perfect synchronisation with your sexual partner during intercourse, thrusting together in time.

"poor kevin" exclaimed sandra "he was so out of cock sync that it slipped out and damaged my right knee"

by theWestHamfan November 17, 2003

conger eel

a penis that never becomes fully erect, even during ejaculation

brittney was VERY dissapointed. she expected a throbber and he only had a conger eel

by theWestHamfan November 17, 2003

prehensile clitoris

a clitoris that can grip objects. a.k.a. PC

it's just a rumour that kylie can shuffle cards with her prehensile clitoris but she can pick up £50 notes.

by theWestHamfan November 18, 2003

up your arse

a shouted response to an insult. similar to up yours but stronger.

made immortal by the lyrics of the famous song:- "from stamford bridge to upton park" "stick your blue flag up your arse" "UP YOUR ARSE" "UP YOUR ARSE" "UP YOUR ARSE" "UP YOUR ARSE" "from stamford bridge to upton park" ""stick your blue flag" "UP YOUR ARSE"

by theWestHamfan November 18, 2003