tossing the caber

a scottish highlands sport whereby one has to throw an enormous tree trunk as far as possible

"blimey sean, is that 'harry the horse' tossing the caber?"
"nah, it's alec having a wank"

by theWestHamfan December 07, 2003

cock splint

penis splint; usually consisting of four spatulas arranged equidistant and parallel to the penis, thus encompassing it. this is held in place with a binding of clear plaster.

on her wedding night victoria threw aside the covers and said, "look david, this bearded oyster has never been seen or touched by a man." "that's nothing" replied david, opening his dressing gown to expose his cock splint, "look, this is still boxed!."

by theWestHamfan November 12, 2003

incuntinent

a medical condition causing one to urinate instead of ejaculate during sexual intercourse

spicer was getting really fed up with dave. she thought he was taking the piss not realising he was incuntinent

by theWestHamfan December 25, 2003

Essex girl

some of the most beautiful girls in the world come from essex

essex girl: "I think i've got concussion."
paramedic: "How many fingers have i got up?"
essex girl: "oh! don't say i'm paralysed too."

by theWestHamfan November 19, 2003

cock shy

1. a person too frightened to have a sexual encounter
2. a sex game where three males with erections stand in formation and the opposing team throw ring doughnuts over the erections - like quoits

1. timid and cock shy she may be - but she loved her rampant rabbit.
2. "we were winning the cock shy by nine points" said trevor dejectedly, "when alec lost his erection and all his doughnuts simply dropped off."

by theWestHamfan November 17, 2003

calamity james

englands number one goalkeeper

"ol' keegan's gonna enjoy 'im"
"who?"
"calamity james, oo ja fink!"
"england, england's number one, england's, number one"
"ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha"

by theWestHamfan January 14, 2004

perm three

male homosexual partners have the chance of a permutation of three. viz.
1. partner A. foreskin partner B. no foreskin
2. partner A. foreskin partner B. foreskin
3. partner A no foreskin partner B. no foreskin

steven minced in "hi duckies, alec's got a new partner""perm three?" questioned kevin "not likely" retorted steven "he's gone and got himself a bloody gnome"

by theWestHamfan December 10, 2003