meat & two veg

penis cock & testicles bollocks

alec entered the gay restaurant rather apprehensively and took a seat. the waiter minced over and said "would sir care to see the menu?"
"no" replied alec "i really want your meat & two veg!"

by theWestHamfan November 23, 2003

love eggs

a pair of hard egg-shaped artifacts usually joined by a cord. they are "worn" inside the vagina whilst walking/working/dancing etc. to give sexual gratification

you could tell Irma had no panties on. she coughed, tripped, and her love eggs shot out and nearly killed the doorman

by theWestHamfan November 15, 2003

calamity james

englands number one goalkeeper

"ol' keegan's gonna enjoy 'im"
"who?"
"calamity james, oo ja fink!"
"england, england's number one, england's, number one"
"ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha"

by theWestHamfan January 14, 2004

perm three

male homosexual partners have the chance of a permutation of three. viz.
1. partner A. foreskin partner B. no foreskin
2. partner A. foreskin partner B. foreskin
3. partner A no foreskin partner B. no foreskin

steven minced in "hi duckies, alec's got a new partner""perm three?" questioned kevin "not likely" retorted steven "he's gone and got himself a bloody gnome"

by theWestHamfan December 10, 2003

tinsel tampon

a tampon festooned with tinsel

jennifer - "have you got ant tinsel tampons?"
assistant - "yes, but only for the Christmas period."

by theWestHamfan November 19, 2003

columbian roulette

like russian roulette but EVERY chamber has a bullet

poor bastard, 'e didn' 'ave a chance. 'E woz playin' columbian roulette

by theWestHamfan January 03, 2004

stiffy

uncontrollable erection whilst on a bus

I couldn't disembark at the Heathway because of my ginormous stiffy

by theWestHamfan October 19, 2003