the jax's definitions

Jenna Fischer Syndrome

When a man gives hints, requests, orders, or complains for women in his home and work life to dress like a secretary, such as Jenna Fischers character on hit TV Show "The Office". The reason for this is for the man to find it attractive yet he is merely a voyeur and it rarely leads to sex.

In some cases it can lead to break ups, seperations, and divorces in home life situations where a wife a girlfriend will continuely not comply with the mans request. In a work environment, it can also lead to sexual harrassment.

My boss at work has made it mandatory that all women in the office dress professionally requiring a professional secretary type clothing. We think he has Jenna Fischer Syndrome as I know he is obsessed with "The Office" and has a picture of her on his wall. This ain't the Micheal Scott Paper Company ya know!

by The Jax April 26, 2009

Golden Toes

When a girl or woman has feet where her bone structure, skin tone, nail placement, and skin texture are so close to perfect that a majority of people who are attracted to female feet will consider her feet more attractive then anything else they ever seen.

A girl I work with is always playing with her shoes under her desk. One day I walked by and she had them off. I couldn't help but stop and look. I could not believe she had Golden Toes. I have never seen feet so beautiful. Some girls have busted feet or they are so-so. But her feet are so amazing.

by The Jax August 5, 2009

Felony Fuck Friend

an underage Fuck Friend, which may or may not be related, where having consentual sexual intercourse and/or consentual sexual relations with that person is considered a felony by either federal or local law.

I just got home from work and my Felony Fuck Friend called and said she should be home from school shortly. Its not right but what can ya do?

by The Jax April 19, 2007

Neighborly Driveway Toilet

When an individual drinks certain things, like juice, so they have to go to the bathroom to poop. That individual, begins to hold it while waiting in their neighbor's driveway while their neighbor is not home. When the neighbor is coming down the street in their car, the individual drops their pants and squats with their butt facing the street. As the neighbor tries to pull in the driveway, the individual deficates publicly on the driveway in front of the neighbor and whoever else is watching, then pulls up their pants, and walks back to their house, never looking back.

My neighbor has these barking dogs they let out all hours of the night as well as their teenage sons with their loud exausts and boom boxes. I decided use to their driveway as a Neighborly Driveway Toilet and I think they got the point.

by The Jax May 2, 2007

Hurricane Incest Trick

When you have a major hurricane hitting your area and all your family and extended family gets together in someone's house to take refuge from the storm within the storm area. Usually a Category 2 hurricane or above. A male finds a female family member he finds attractive, usually an adolescent, and tricks her into thinking they will not make it out alive when in reality, the chance of them losing their life in the hurricane is very minimal.

The male then leads the female to a secluded place in the shelter and has consensual sex with her. Afterwards, the hurricane is over and everything is fine and the female is so embarrassed she doesn't tell anyone about the event.

Hurricane Katrina was coming so my entire family and extended family went over my grandmother's house for shelter.

When the hurricane hit, the walls were shaking and my younger cousin was scared. I took her in the other room. It was just me and her and got away with a Hurricane Incest Trick.

Afterwards, there was so much damage and she was so happy we were alive she totally forgot I screwed her brains out.

by The Jax October 13, 2008

Tween Wet White T-shirt Trick

When an older perverted guy who knows better, runs into a girl between 9 and 12 in a bathing suit wearing a white t-shirt over it, and the guy has the disturbing urge to want to see the girls under developed, yet already growing breasts. The trick involves tricking the girl into taking her bathing suit top off with her shirt on, claiming she can not do it. Then when she does it, the guy squirts her t-shirt with water. Most of the time, the girl is gullible enough to think he is just playing around. Sometimes, the girl catches on and isn't very happy about it. In rare cases, the police are called and the guy has a lot of explaining to do.

I was on the beach with my 11 y/o nieces friend. She was wearing a white t-shirt over her bathing suit. I knew it was wrong but I had a water gun and I attempted the Tween Wet White T-shirt Trick. She caught on with what I was doing after the fact and she didn't appreciate it. Neither did her parents or my niece........ or the cop........ or the judge.

by The Jax May 3, 2007

Devine Offering Position

When a barefoot but clothed girl between ages 11 and 25 with pretty feet and legs puts herself in a non-sexual position, either sitting on the floor or in a chair, where she puts her feet up, bringing her knees to her chest and her heels to her butt, in a way that it looks like she is presenting her feet to another male. Almost 100% of girls who put themelves in this position are doing so to feel comfortable. Most male who have feet and leg fetishes for younger girls called this position by this name and find it arousing.

I was over a friend's house. After dinner we sat on the floor with his family and talked. My friend's younger sister was barefoot and put herself in a Devine Offering Position. She had no idea I was turned on and I wanted to play with her feet so bad!

by The Jax April 19, 2007