the jax's definitions

Unwanted Sexual Abuse Statement

When a man or woman verbally informs a person or a group of people that he or she would not enjoy nor want to have non-consensual sexual intercourse with anyone.

I was at a party with mostly guys. This hot bitch came in wearing a strappy top with no bra and such a shirt skirt you could see her ass. When all the guys tried to get with her, she pulled an Unwanted Sexual Abuse Statement. She's a big tease and no one appreciates it.

by The Jax February 23, 2009

Cock Anger

When a male in private is masturbating and other people occupying the same residence or workplace are walking around and talking so loudly the person masturbating can hear them and that person is unable to obtain an orgasm successfully. Because of this the penis starts to get sore, they get blue balls, their blood presure and heart rate raises, and they get very extremely angry and frustrated.

Sometimes responsible for workplace beatings and murders.

I was in the bathroom masturbating and I got Cock Anger cuz my mom kept walking around and talking on the phone. She needs to plant her ass in a chair and get off the phone!

by The Jax April 19, 2007

Sock Mitzvah

During a BarMitzvah or BatMitzvah, when the majority of adolescent girls attending that are wearing pantyhose, stockings, tights, or are barefoot take off their shoes and put on socks for the remainder of the event. This can come to quite a disappointment to men twenty years old or older who find it attractive and arousing to view the feet of adolescent girls. Out of disappointment and sometimes anger, a man of this nature may describe this event as a "Sock Mitzvah" when conversating to others.

"I was so happy to be invited to my friend's little cousin's BatMitzvah so I could see all the girls prancing around in their stockings and barefeet without shoes on. But his aunt is a real bitch and told all the girls to bring socks. So during the reception, the event became a Sock Mitzvah and I left early because I was really pissed off!"

by The Jax January 17, 2007

Hurricane Incest Trick

When you have a major hurricane hitting your area and all your family and extended family gets together in someone's house to take refuge from the storm within the storm area. Usually a Category 2 hurricane or above. A male finds a female family member he finds attractive, usually an adolescent, and tricks her into thinking they will not make it out alive when in reality, the chance of them losing their life in the hurricane is very minimal.

The male then leads the female to a secluded place in the shelter and has consensual sex with her. Afterwards, the hurricane is over and everything is fine and the female is so embarrassed she doesn't tell anyone about the event.

Hurricane Katrina was coming so my entire family and extended family went over my grandmother's house for shelter.

When the hurricane hit, the walls were shaking and my younger cousin was scared. I took her in the other room. It was just me and her and got away with a Hurricane Incest Trick.

Afterwards, there was so much damage and she was so happy we were alive she totally forgot I screwed her brains out.

by The Jax October 13, 2008

Felony Fuck Friend

an underage Fuck Friend, which may or may not be related, where having consentual sexual intercourse and/or consentual sexual relations with that person is considered a felony by either federal or local law.

I just got home from work and my Felony Fuck Friend called and said she should be home from school shortly. Its not right but what can ya do?

by The Jax April 19, 2007

Neighborly Driveway Toilet

When an individual drinks certain things, like juice, so they have to go to the bathroom to poop. That individual, begins to hold it while waiting in their neighbor's driveway while their neighbor is not home. When the neighbor is coming down the street in their car, the individual drops their pants and squats with their butt facing the street. As the neighbor tries to pull in the driveway, the individual deficates publicly on the driveway in front of the neighbor and whoever else is watching, then pulls up their pants, and walks back to their house, never looking back.

My neighbor has these barking dogs they let out all hours of the night as well as their teenage sons with their loud exausts and boom boxes. I decided use to their driveway as a Neighborly Driveway Toilet and I think they got the point.

by The Jax May 2, 2007

Jenna Fischer Syndrome

When a man gives hints, requests, orders, or complains for women in his home and work life to dress like a secretary, such as Jenna Fischers character on hit TV Show "The Office". The reason for this is for the man to find it attractive yet he is merely a voyeur and it rarely leads to sex.

In some cases it can lead to break ups, seperations, and divorces in home life situations where a wife a girlfriend will continuely not comply with the mans request. In a work environment, it can also lead to sexual harrassment.

My boss at work has made it mandatory that all women in the office dress professionally requiring a professional secretary type clothing. We think he has Jenna Fischer Syndrome as I know he is obsessed with "The Office" and has a picture of her on his wall. This ain't the Micheal Scott Paper Company ya know!

by The Jax April 26, 2009