telephony's definitions

ombusher

How one often spells the word "embouchure" (because "embouchure" sounds like it should be spelled "ombusher") -- the use of the facial muscles and shaping of the lips when playing a wind instrument like a tuba or trombone.

You're putting too much pressure on the mouthpiece. Relax the ombusher. Don't use any muscles you don't need.

by Telephony January 4, 2011

toliet Nazi

Some assclown who leaves only a couple of little pieces on the roll of bungwipe (just enough to cover the merferator) so that when you go to wipe, there isn't another roll and your fingers are subsequently besmudged with feces.

Son of a bitch motherfucker cocksucker! The last one that used the head was a toliet Nazi so I had to rip the roller towel down and wipe my bunghole off with that!

by Telephony December 31, 2013

Master Bator

A Master Bator is somebody who, because of the sheer number of times they have masturbated (choked the chicken, administered corporal punishment to a primate {spanked the monkey}, jacked off, beat off, jerked off, beat their meat, whacked off, played pocket pool, wanked off, etc.), has become an expert at it -- a true master masturbator (or Master Bator).

Works better when written or typed vs. when spoken.

Hozay hasn't gotten any tail in such a long time that he's become a true-to-life Master Bator!!!

by Telephony August 22, 2012

public enema number one

Very similar to "public enemy number one"; perhaps a little worse (how much worse can it get?!?)

Jayden is public enema number one for stealing the food from the foodbank and throwing it into a burning dipsty dumpster!!! Man, what a class A-1 prick!!!

by Telephony January 24, 2011

douched out

Any ground-based vehicle (such as a bicycle, motorcycle, car, truck, van, bus, train, etc.) that has crashed or is in the process of crashing.

Drake: See that twisted heap of metal over there?
Josh: Yeah!
Drake: That was a minivan that douched out a few days ago.

by Telephony December 6, 2011

speech imspediment

How Butt-Head from the TV program Beavis and Butt-Head says the phrase, "speech impediment" in the episode, "Speech Therapy".

{Butt-Head}: No ma'am, I don't have a speech imspediment.

by Telephony August 13, 2020

pissblanket

A plastic mattress protector; used to prevent a mattress from becoming wrecked if somebody has enuresis (if they piss the bed). They are often found on beds at group homes and similar facilities.

Robbins then thinks about the pissblankets on every bed in the joint, so he rips the pissblanket off of one of the beds, goes around and unscrews all of the light bulbs he can get to, pours the generous helping of light bulbs into the pissblanket (approx. 24 bulbs), gathers up the edges, and whirls the bulging pissblanket over his head -- striking the wall with it a number of times until he is absolutely, positively, 100% certain that all of the bulbs inside are busted. He then crams the pissblanket and its cargo of broken bulbs into a nearby wastepaperbasket.

by Telephony April 16, 2011