telephony's definitions

axe

How some ghetto-dwellers say the word, "ask."

It is sometimes used as part of speech when talking in ebonics (yes, it is most frequently spoken this way rather than being written this way). It is definitely one way to butcher the English language -- albiet only a single word of it. :-(

1:
{Tina}: Edward, may I axe you a question?
{Edward}: Don't you mean, "may I ASK you a question?"
{Tina}: That's what I just said! Can I axe you what all of those blown rubbers are doing on the bedroom floor every Saturday morning?

2:
Be sure to axe about the bloody ask in the trunk. ;-)

by Telephony August 5, 2012

merferator

The cardboard core inside of a toilet roll.

Hey, this TP is down to the merferator! Can you toss me another roll?

by Telephony November 16, 2010

wipe of bung

Toilet paper, plain and simple.
You wipe poo off of your bunghole with it, and then dispose of it by flushing (in most countries anyway).

Also known as bungwipe, rollios, TP, poliet taper.

{Eric}: Hey Martha, can you please get me some wipe of bung out of the cabinet just outside the bathroom? I'd get it myself but I just took a plop and I'm still sitting on the shitbowl.

by Telephony December 9, 2020

the fit has hit the shan

A polite way of saying (or typing) the phrase, "the shit has hit the fan".

{Seen on an online forum}: yea, the fit has hit the shan...think we're discussing all of this in the POLITICAL FORUM, Ang. in the, "From Ferguson With Love" thread...

by Telephony November 26, 2014

urinal mint

One of those pink urinal deodouriser cakes found at the bottoms of many types of urinals.

Rick, please don't eat the urinal mints!!! I hear that they taste horrible!!!

by Telephony November 29, 2010

monkey sheets

Bed sheets stained with spooge because you masturbated and then subsequently ejaculated onto them.
Monkey sheets are frequently characterised by having a queer odour.

{Beavis and Butt-Head dressing themselves as ghosts for Halloween}

{Beavis}: Hey Butt-Head, this sheet smells funny.
{Butt-Head}: Yeah, huh huh. Those are my special monkey sheets.
{Beavis}: O fuck! Get it off! Get it off!! GET IT OFF!!!

by Telephony February 15, 2020

BarneySplat

BarneySplat was a BBS door game that allowed the player to do all kinds of cruel things to our favourite bloated & distended purple dinosaur Barney.

Released by Bong Software in 1993, this text-only game allowed the player to get Barney drunk or stoned; even Baby Bop and the kids get to smoke out and get hammered. You also receive opportunities to kill the satanic purple pedophile ?(along with everybody el;se!) in addition to getting everybody ripped or stupid-drunk until they're all eliminated from the game.

An example screen would look like this:

"I have an idea!" Barney says. "Let's have a TEA party!"
Everyone gets out the tea and cookies, you get ready your arsonic and alcohol.

Fun things to try at the "TEA" party:
(S)pike it
try to make (P)eace tea
or (D)on't do anything

Hey Carlton! That BBS I was just on has BarneySplat in their door games menu!

by Telephony June 22, 2019