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Definitions by telephony

The correct spelling of the abbreviation for the word, "microphone".
Many people spell it as, "mike" which is totally wrong.
Yo wassup homes? Will you please hand me the mic so I can do this here song?
mic by Telephony December 2, 2015

synthetic hi-hats 

The sound of a hi-hat (a pair of cymbals on a stand with a foot pedal that is used to open & close them; thus changing the sound that they make when struck with drumsticks) created solely by synthesizer hardware or computer software synthesis.

Most frequently heard in electronic music ("electronica" is the name of the actual musical genre).

No real hi-hats are damaged or destroyed when synthetic hi-hats are employed.
The song, "Move to the Beat" by the electronica group Monkey Zound has synthetic hi-hats in it! How kewl!
synthetic hi-hats by Telephony November 14, 2015
Another name for male testicles (balls, nads, nuts, gonads, etc.)
Look at that video! It shows this guy falling off a fence and landing on his gnards right on the top rail!! OUCH!!!
gnards by Telephony November 12, 2015

The Toliet Song

A spoof of, "The Vagina Song" originally written by Willam Belli.
The misspelling of, "toliet" was done intentionally so that it has three syllables; it is pronounced, "toa'LYE-et".
Lyrics to The Toliet Song:

♫ Some of them are warm, Some of them are cold ♫
♫ Some are kind of scary, And this is what they're called ♫
♫ Toliiiiiet!(toliet) ♫
♫ Toliiiiieeet!(toliet) ♫
♫ They call that thing..toliet ♫
♫ Some belong to rich folk, They're really clean & bonged ♫
♫ But big or small I flush em'all ♫
That's why I sing my song! ♫
♫ Toliiiiiet!(toliet) ♫
♫ Toliiiiieeet!(toliet) ♫
♫ They call that thing...toliet ♫
♫ Toliet! ♫
♫ Some smell really dirty, Like puke & shit and such ♫
♫ Some smell like a Massengill douche 'cause they've been scrubbed too much ♫
♫ Toliiiiiet!(toliet) ♫
♫ Toliiiiieeet!(toliet) ♫
♫ They call that thing...toliet ♫
♫ Toliiiiiet!(toliet) ♫
♫ Toliiiiieeet!(toliet) ♫
♫ They call that thing...toliet ♫
♫ Nothing could be finer than to pee on hard white china, in the morning! ♫

(yes, he needs to be taught how to pee IN the toliet, not ON the toliet!) :-O
The Toliet Song by Telephony November 1, 2015

synthetic gunfire 

The sound of gunfire from a handgun, rifle, automatic weapon, etc. created solely by hardware or computer software synthesis. Found most frequently in computer video game or demo choons.

No guns are fouled and no poor, innocent, helpless, defenseless bullets are damaged or destroyed when synthetic gunfire is employed.
The title zax for the Commodore Amiga video game, "Datastorm" is just loaded with synthetic gunfire! How kewl!!!
synthetic gunfire by Telephony October 20, 2015
A version of the phrase, "fuck you" that can bypass the onboard censor in chatrooms, online BBSs (fora or forums), online games, etc.
You're an asshole!
Fucking jerk!
Eat shit!
PHUQ!
PHUQ by Telephony September 27, 2015
Another name for one of those wall-mounted porcelain or stainless steel urinals.
Hey! Don't use that whizzer on the left because it shoots pee at your head when you flush the fucker!!!
whizzer by Telephony September 10, 2015