tagz's definitions

Faceworm

Someone who feels the need to comment on everyone's Facebook status, isn't funny and contributes nothing.

Daniel made another idiotic comment on my status. The guy never shuts up, he's a total Faceworm.

by tagz September 22, 2013

said no one ever

Declarative phrase appearing at the end of a statement which effectively negates the meaning of the previously stated text. Essentially, the presence of this statement instructs the reader that what has been stated up to this point is a fallacy in that no one would make that statement under any circumstances, at any time (in the past, present or future) in any corner of the known universe.

I am so tired of bacon that I hope I never have to eat it again. Said no one ever.

by tagz May 1, 2013

Danger Wood

n. The immediate and ridiculously enormous boner that magically appears when it becomes obvious that you are about to engage in sex in a place or with a person (or both) that you shouldn't.

My roommates girlfriend just whispered in my ear that she wants to fuck me now, in the laundry room, while the party is going on. You can't imagine the Danger Wood I got when she said that!

by Tagz November 8, 2011

EZPass Hot

adj. Descriptive term for a woman so attractive that you would have no hesitation whatsoever crossing a bridge and paying a toll to go see her.

I met her last night at a party and I'm going to her house tomorrow. I hate going to Long Island, but this chick is EZPass hot.

by Tagz October 30, 2011

Artificial Stupidity

n. Special circuitry wired into computers and other electronic equipment allowing it to alter it's programming in such a way that simple tasks which were performed flawlessly only moments ago are now beyond functional capability.

My PC no longer wants to recognize my data. I'm doing the same things I've always done, but now I've lost 6 months of work to artificial stupidity.

by Tagz June 21, 2011

Capri Cum

n. The small amount of liquid that flies out the top of the straw when first inserting it into a pouch of Capri Sun® Juice Drink.

Can you get me a paper towel? I need to wipe the Capri Cum off of the table.

by Tagz February 24, 2011

Buying Frozen Peas

Coded phrase for: "Getting a vasectomy" since part of the post-operative instructions suggest you place a bag of frozen peas on the sight of the incision for the first few days in order to reduce swelling.

We've decided not to have any more kids, so I'm seriously considering buying frozen peas.

by Tagz January 19, 2011