Definitions by shitstained mattress
Calmo
A cooler way of saying "Calm"; meaning "It's cool/fine/alright" or more often for this variation, "Affirmative".
"Ayo come play Roblox at 6?"
"Calmo."
"We just played Roblox for 12 hours straight," said the little virgin, "We need to get a job!"
"It's calmo -- life finds a way, innit?"
"Same time tomorrow?"
"Calmo."
"Stop saying that."
"Calm."
"Calmo."
"We just played Roblox for 12 hours straight," said the little virgin, "We need to get a job!"
"It's calmo -- life finds a way, innit?"
"Same time tomorrow?"
"Calmo."
"Stop saying that."
"Calm."
Calmo by shitstained mattress September 9, 2020
Anime
Animation from Japan, often centred on organisms with disproportionately gigantic, pulsating jelly-breasts that weebs deem their "waifus". Sometimes the entire plot of the show is just tits.
Dude: fucking weebs and their weeby ass weeb-land shit.
Weeb: hey come check out these two-dimensional tits.
Dude: I think I like anime now.
Weeb: hey come check out these two-dimensional tits.
Dude: I think I like anime now.
Anime by shitstained mattress August 20, 2020
Blunderbust
Used to describe a male orgasm, whereby upon reaching ejaculation, a particularly large volume of semen is exerted from the bellend, usually accompanied by lacrimation as the man's entire life achievements and sense of self-worth flash before his eyes in an ephemeral episode of acute post-nut clarity.
Blunderbust by shitstained mattress February 17, 2020
type hype
When a user is displayed as "typing" in a chatroom for an extended period of time – in which the respondents are left anticipating what's to come – usually after having announced that they have something important to tell everyone.
henry_homesweet05: GUYS @everyone
fabian: hi
rambo-tha-rand0: can u not @ everyone ever again
foccsakeman: Henry what is it
stewie: wot
henry_homesweet05 is typing...
foccsakeman: spit it out fag
fabian: type hype
stewie: is he using one finger or something
foccsakeman: his mom use one finger
Burlap: above gay
fabian: @everyone @here HENRY GENERATING SOME TYPE HYPE WOO WOO!!
foccsakeman: y tho
stewie: TYPE HYPE
larrylasalle: did someone say type hype
foccsakeman: NO FAGGIT
fabian: larry go home
rambo-tha-rand0: DONT @every1 !!!
larrylasalle: I don't have a home
stewie: oh
fabian: idk go to the pub or something
foccsakeman: oh ffs..
henry_homesweet05: lol
henry_homesweet05 is typing...
stewie: OMG u caveman did u rlly just delete everything to type "lol" kys.
Burlap: below gayer
foccsakeman: pls no more type hype
fabian: UR KILLING US HENRY WITH THE HYYYYYYYYPE BOYOOO
henry_homesweet05: actually nvm my mom is calling me gtg
stewie: wtf henry miss me with this gay shit
foccsakeman: henry Ur mom has a dick
Burlap: focc how would u know do u suck it
foccsakeman: um wtf
Burlap: I heard its highly calorific
foccsakeman: ...
fabian: @everyone
Timmy_Trumpet: can u not with those juicy roblox bobbies
rambo-tha-rand0 just left the server...
fabian: rip
BabeChorbie: I heard there was type hype?
foccsakeman: no
fabian: only PTSD now
stewie: edgy
Burlap: like your mom's polygonagonal tiddies
stewie: can someone do a euthanasia on this chat
fabian: hi
rambo-tha-rand0: can u not @ everyone ever again
foccsakeman: Henry what is it
stewie: wot
henry_homesweet05 is typing...
foccsakeman: spit it out fag
fabian: type hype
stewie: is he using one finger or something
foccsakeman: his mom use one finger
Burlap: above gay
fabian: @everyone @here HENRY GENERATING SOME TYPE HYPE WOO WOO!!
foccsakeman: y tho
stewie: TYPE HYPE
larrylasalle: did someone say type hype
foccsakeman: NO FAGGIT
fabian: larry go home
rambo-tha-rand0: DONT @every1 !!!
larrylasalle: I don't have a home
stewie: oh
fabian: idk go to the pub or something
foccsakeman: oh ffs..
henry_homesweet05: lol
henry_homesweet05 is typing...
stewie: OMG u caveman did u rlly just delete everything to type "lol" kys.
Burlap: below gayer
foccsakeman: pls no more type hype
fabian: UR KILLING US HENRY WITH THE HYYYYYYYYPE BOYOOO
henry_homesweet05: actually nvm my mom is calling me gtg
stewie: wtf henry miss me with this gay shit
foccsakeman: henry Ur mom has a dick
Burlap: focc how would u know do u suck it
foccsakeman: um wtf
Burlap: I heard its highly calorific
foccsakeman: ...
fabian: @everyone
Timmy_Trumpet: can u not with those juicy roblox bobbies
rambo-tha-rand0 just left the server...
fabian: rip
BabeChorbie: I heard there was type hype?
foccsakeman: no
fabian: only PTSD now
stewie: edgy
Burlap: like your mom's polygonagonal tiddies
stewie: can someone do a euthanasia on this chat
type hype by shitstained mattress June 12, 2018
Racist
Overused, coloured punchline that has been hijacked by the left to reinforce political correctness and silence opposition. Often used in situations that are about as racist as third-way feminism is an equality movement, in somewhat of a double entendre where the person slinging it about is the actual racist.
"In the grim dark future, there is only racism, sexism, ageism, sizeism and about as many genders as there are grains of sand on the planet."
"You racist cis white male! REEEEEE!"
"You racist cis white male! REEEEEE!"
Racist by shitstained mattress December 17, 2017
Shitwreck
Derives from the term 'shipwreck'.
The result of peeing and pooing at the same time under precise circumstances that causes the poo to be almost lost in the merky water – baring an eery resemblance to a shipwreck.
The result of peeing and pooing at the same time under precise circumstances that causes the poo to be almost lost in the merky water – baring an eery resemblance to a shipwreck.
John: "There you go, mate. Sorry for taking so long..."
Lee: "It's no bother – WOAH!"
John: "Huh?"
Lee: "Why the blooming fuck is there a shrunken replica of the Pirates of the Carribean set in my toilet?"
John: "Fuck, I thought I already flushed! Shitwrecks can be hard to spot..."
Lee: "You better flush this thing into Davey Jones' locker right now!"
Lee: "It's no bother – WOAH!"
John: "Huh?"
Lee: "Why the blooming fuck is there a shrunken replica of the Pirates of the Carribean set in my toilet?"
John: "Fuck, I thought I already flushed! Shitwrecks can be hard to spot..."
Lee: "You better flush this thing into Davey Jones' locker right now!"
Shitwreck by shitstained mattress April 24, 2017
Crackdown 3
The latest game in the Crackdown series, set to reinvent and build sky-high off of the foundations layed by the original game.
Crackdown 3 delivers Microsoft's Azure-powered, revolutionary multiplayer destruction in typical Crackdown fashion. Players will be able to leap from skyscraper to skyscraper – tearing them down with their buddies as they do so.
Outside of its exciting new multiplayer experience, the game will also have a traditional Crackdown-styled single player mode that is four player co-op enabled, much like the previous two games.
Set to release alongside Project Scorpio this year, on Xbox One and Win10. I'll remember its release date as the day my life was completed.
Crackdown 3 delivers Microsoft's Azure-powered, revolutionary multiplayer destruction in typical Crackdown fashion. Players will be able to leap from skyscraper to skyscraper – tearing them down with their buddies as they do so.
Outside of its exciting new multiplayer experience, the game will also have a traditional Crackdown-styled single player mode that is four player co-op enabled, much like the previous two games.
Set to release alongside Project Scorpio this year, on Xbox One and Win10. I'll remember its release date as the day my life was completed.
Before E3 2014:
Dude #1: 'Where the hell is Crackdown 3 right now?'
Dude #2: 'I've not the foggiest idea, mate.'
After E3 2014:
Dude #1: 'Holy smokes, it's actually happening! Crackdown 3 is here!'
Dude #2: 'Quite so, my good man. Lad, let us pray that this technological advancement – known as Crackdown 3 – delivers on what it promises.'
Dude #1: 'Oh it will BABY!'
Dude #2: 'Amen.'
Dude #1: 'Where the hell is Crackdown 3 right now?'
Dude #2: 'I've not the foggiest idea, mate.'
After E3 2014:
Dude #1: 'Holy smokes, it's actually happening! Crackdown 3 is here!'
Dude #2: 'Quite so, my good man. Lad, let us pray that this technological advancement – known as Crackdown 3 – delivers on what it promises.'
Dude #1: 'Oh it will BABY!'
Dude #2: 'Amen.'
Crackdown 3 by shitstained mattress April 13, 2017