reverse gerbilling

Reverse gerbilling is where a person tries to insert themselves into a gerbil's anus.

Very often has explosive results.
When Raoul heard the small muffled explosion and saw Manuel covered in gerbil guts, he knew he'd been reverse gerbilling again.
by scodder May 17, 2010
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Did you have sex with my barn owl is what to ask when you find your barn owl at the neighbor's, dressed in gaudy lingerie and smelling of cheap booze and jizz.

A positive answer can wreck a barn owl's reputation.
Frontenac was obliged to ask, "Did you have sex with my barn owl?" when he found "Barney" at his neighbor's in a compromising position.

He was extremely relieved to hear the answer, "No, we just got to third base."
by scodder May 14, 2010
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fireworks monkey

A fireworks monkey is a monkey tied to a large fireworks rocket.

The screeching on the way up is amazing.

On the way down - not so much.
The kids at the 4th of July picnic eagerly lined up to watch the fireworks monkey show.

They were not disappointed.
by scodder June 05, 2010
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"I must ask you to eat crap sandwiches, you Malthusian monkey molester," is the definitive, empirically tested retort which wins an argument forever, and for which no come back is possible.
Edbogard: .. and so I think that Sartre was essentially in error when he mistook the homology between ontogeny and...

Pasco: Arrgh! I can't take it any more! I must ask you to eat crap sandwiches, you Malthusian monkey molester!

Edbogard: I...

*thud*
by scodder November 15, 2012
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roast monkey nuts

Roast monkey nuts is a painful medical condition where a monkey sits or sleeps too close to a fire and suffers burned nads.
Our backyard camping trip was going great until "Cheetah" fell asleep next to the fire.

We had to take him to EMS with roast monkey nuts.
by scodder June 01, 2010
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hamster blumpkin

A hamster blumpkin means blowing a hamster while it's taking a crap.
**

"What's that brown pellet on your chin?" asked Ryan.

"I was giving Hammie a hamster blumpkin," said Sarah.

"Cool," said Ryan, "can I have one too?"

**
by scodder August 07, 2010
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grandmaster of bation

A grandmaster of bation is someone who is internationally celebrated for blowing spunk from his junk to virtuosic standards.

Often results in great riches and fame.
Fred: You remember Ned who used to live in his mom's basement and play video games and whack off all the time?

Ted: Yeah...

Fred: Well, now he's a grandmaster of bation and lives in a villa on the Riviera.

Ted: OMFG! I'm so jealous!
by scodder February 07, 2014
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