Halloween

All Hallow's Eve, the evening of October 31st.

Halloween was Christianity`s failed attempt at eradicating paganism in the 9th Century.
Originally, the pagans dedicated the period of late October to early November as a time for honoring their ancestors. Then along came the Christians, who declared November 1st to be All Saints Day and forced the pagans to honor that day instead. The pagans simply celebrated their ancient traditions in secret on the evening before November 1st.
When the Medieval Era ended, and the age of Protestantism began, the pagan tradition was celebrated more openly, eventually becoming an evening holiday in the Western Hemisphere.
During Halloween, the children, dressed up in their favorite costumes, go door-to-door throughout the neighborhood, asking for candy or snacks.
by sarcastic November 16, 2004
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life insurance

The reason why women usually kill their husbands.
Miss. Smith received life imprisonment for killing her husband for the insurance money.
by sarcastic September 01, 2003
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Timeshare

See time share time-share.

An elaborate marketing scam designed to make victims purchase property that they don't really need. Typically this scam is used in vacation/resort towns like Williamsburg, Myrtle Beach, Las Vegas, and Orlando. After being lured to the places with offers of "Free Disney Tickets" or "Free Money", victims are made to endure a 90-120 minute sales presentation where they are shown around a series of semi-luxurious condos or apartments, and then persuaded to purchase a property using deceptive and highly-pressurized sales pitches.
After being shown around a fairly nice-looking apartment complex, the Timeshare salesman and the customer return to the main office to finalize the presentation.

Timeshare Rep: So, did you like the Quazi Glam properties?
Customer: Absolutely! The jacuzzi room was a nice touch, and the ocean view is spectacular.
Timeshare Rep: Now, I need to get my double-digit sales quota today, and I'm running terribly short on time, so let's get down to business. You said you are an Engineer, and you probably make like a shitload of money, so how would you like to purchase an apartment for $2,899 a month for 60 months?
Customer: Those apartments don't look like they cost that much!
Timeshare Rep: Aw come on now, work with me. (scribbles on a paper) Using a hooey mathematical formula I made up while showing you around, you can easily get one paid off in like, 14 months.
Customer: The price still does not justify the quality.
Timeshare Rep: Hmmm. How about I reduce the payment to $2,199 for 54 months. You can even invite your friends and relatives to rent it out and reduce your cost.
Customer: Let me think about it later.
Timeshare Rep: Okay. How about $1,799 for 48 months? I'll even throw in free maintenance and free lunches at the on-site bistro for 3 months.
Customer: I still need more time to consider this.
Timeshare Rep: You're breaking my balls here. $1,499 for 42 months, plus all of the benefits, and free heating?
Customer: Alright, fine. I'll buy an apartment.
Timeshare Rep: Great! Now sign on the dotted line before my 100 minute presentation is up (hands over a document).
Customer: (signng the document) Now what if I change my mind and decide to cancel my payment, do I get refunded?
Timeshare Rep: Um.....no. In fact, by signing up, you are now required to pay $2,899 up front, plus a $7,345 utility instalation fee, $13,500 pet-chauffer service, and a $1,766 asteroid-impact insurance fee.
Customer: Fuck.
Timeshare Rep: Thank you for purchasing a Quazi Glam property. Here's a complementary ticket to Jamal's Flea Market. Have a nice day. Sucker.
by sarcastic June 11, 2006
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captain planet

It is ironic that the show, which was supposed to be about saving the environment, is actually sponsored by a few corporations which are responsible for some of the world's pollution. It kinda negates the whole purpose of the show.
Oh shit. The wind blew the plastic wrapper of my sandwich from the table to the ground. Captain Planet is surely going to give me a half-hour lecture about reducing, reusing, and recycling.
by sarcastic October 13, 2003
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karaoke

I didn't know that the ideal American pop star should be a karaoke singer!
by sarcastic July 17, 2003
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Panzer Dragoon

by sarcastic February 24, 2003
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vegetarian

If you eat birds and marine animals, and any products made from animals, YOU ARE NOT A VEGETARIAN! And animal products include Jello, yogurt, ice-cream, butter, and eggs. Dumbass.
Vegetarian: I have been a vegetarian for eight years and I eat chicken, duck, fish, crabs, lobsters, shrimp, and oysters.
Meat Eater: (laughing) You are not a vegetarian.
Vegetarian: Yes I am.
Meat Eater: (pulls out biology book) Let's see here...(turns to bird anatomy) I certainly don't see plants with these kinds of organs...(turns to fish anatomy) or these organs...(turns to lobster anatomy) or these organs...(turns to oyster anatomy) or these organs. Have you even seen any of these animals while they are alive? What makes them so different from eating a dead cow or pig or sheep?
Vegetarian: (embarrased) Um...er...it's just that...um...I don't eat red meat, yeah and....um...red meat is blood meat..and..and..I DON'T LIKE BLOOD!
Meat Eater: But still you eat meat, and if you eat meat you are not a vegetarian.
Vegetarian: But..but..I AM! You're trying to deceive me!
Meat Eater: I'm deceiving you? You said you are a vegetarian but you eat meat. Both are contradictory.
Vegetarian: Fuck you! Fuck you and burn in Hell with your murderous meat eating evil (stabs Meat Eater with hidden knife).
Meat Eater: (groaning in pain) Wow. I thought vegetarians were actually peaceful, reasonable people.
by sarcastic April 23, 2003
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