robert e. porter's definitions

clitlicker

(n.) any individual who enjoys licking clitori, human or otherwise.

I knew Janet was a clitlicker when she went down on that heifer's twat.

by Robert E. Porter December 31, 2008

one-eyed mayonnaise launcher

(n.) Same as penis or dick.

Say, Doctor, I've been having an itch in the area of my one-eyed mayonnaise launcher. Might you have a look at it please?

by Robert E. Porter December 31, 2008

eating pussy

To have oral sex with a woman. Also known as cunnilingus. The eater can be either male or female, but the eatee must be a female, or some other cunted creature. Eating the pussy may involve licking, sucking, blowing, kissing or other similar action to the labia minora and clitoris. This activity could preceed or follow normal dick-to-twat action.

I called Duane, but he was busy eating pussy and said he'd call back later.

by Robert E. Porter January 13, 2006

butt plug

1. A sexual device that is inserted into the rectum and held there by its conical shape. Supposedly to apply pressure to the prostate gland, resulting in more powerful orgasms.

2. A stupid individual, a dolt, a dumbass motherfucker

You no good son of a bitch, you're nothing but a fucking butt plug!

by Robert E. Porter January 10, 2006

snatch acne

As the term implies, an eruption of weeping sores in and around the vulva (pussy/snatch/twat/cunt/meat wallet).

See also clitzit.

Say, Doc, could you write me out a prescription for something? I've got snatch acne and my boyfriend won't fuck me!

by Robert E. Porter January 2, 2009

street whore

(n.) An employee of the sidewalks, a male or female prostitute that primarily works the streets, providing low-budget sexual services to new and existing johns. These women are only interested in volume vs. quality, and earn an average of about $1,500 per day when not incarcerated. All street whores are generally stupid and many are former physicians, bankers, lawyers, and mortgage brokers.

See also gutterslut.

My Aunt Mary buys me expensive gifts because she's a street whore and she can afford it.

by Robert E. Porter December 31, 2008

bustier

(n.) A form-fitting garment for women in the Victorian era. Also worn as a cumcatcher by Madonna for Warren Beatty.

Oh shit, Warren. You spunked all over my fucking bustier again. Vogue.

by Robert E. Porter August 2, 2007