rich's definitions

Wind Fairy

People who own sail boats

damn Wind Fairy

by Rich January 31, 2004

beer monkey

Technically 3, Clive, Geoff and Steve. After a heavy night on the pop, Clive ransacks your room while hiding your wallet,keys,phone,etc while Geoff punches you in your sleep (subsequent black eyes and headache in morning!) At the same time, Steve shits in your mouth leaving that strange nasty taste in the morning which not even bleach can shift!

Guy1: Went out last night on the piss, fuckin beer monkeys got me again!
Guy2: Bastards, looks like they got you a treat!

by Rich April 18, 2004

crouton

My friend, Matt Campbell.

A 'floating' member of the 'cunt soup' phenomenon that is slowly gripping the UK.

by Rich February 4, 2004

dumbtarded

being stupid for no good reason; as opposed to being retarded, which is a mental condition

Gigli was fucking dumbtarded.

by Rich November 17, 2003

yoghurt weaver

One who performs a fruitless task - you can weave yoghurt all day long and will be left with the same yoghurt you started with.

Council offices are full of 'yoghurt weavers' including Community Relations Officers, Best Value Officers and Smoking Cessation Officers

by Rich November 19, 2003

fairies

generally of uk southern origin, a fairy is someone who lives in the London catchment area or within an hours drive, thus gaining a Mockney (mock cockney) accent. Usually can be found ordering a shandy in any bar or pub and being generally offensive to any surrounding patrons in the public area. Renowned for replacing U's in swear words with A's.

"alright you fackin cant, oi'll ave a lager shaaaaandy, gav'nor!"

by rich March 27, 2004

WATTAGE

The ammount of light which passes between a womans legs when standing with her legs together.

She's got high milage, look at the wattage, it's blinding.

by rich August 25, 2003