Cut the numbers

To look over one's budget or financial position.

Wanna get a pizza?
Lemme cut the numbers real fast, I got no cash on me.

Honey, take me shopping for Valentine's day.
Ok sweetheart. Let me cut some numbers, you can go grab your coat, we can leave in five.
(woman takes one hour to 'get ready', guy browses pr0n online.)

by phillydrifter February 14, 2011

pork wagon

n. a pork wagon (or pork-mobile) is a police squad car, paddy wagon, or other clearly labeled law enforcement vehicle. Also known as 5-0 five oh

Went to Slevs for smokes and saw a pork wagon in the parking lot, but I didn't see any pigs inside.

by phillydrifter April 17, 2011

decoy pack

(noun) an empty cigarette pack that is intentionally kept (not crushed or thrown away) so when someone tries to bum a cigarette it can be used to justify not giving them one.

guy1: what a party last night! man you got any cigarettes?
guy2: I'm all out. (gestures to decoy pack on coffee table.)
guy1: I guess I'll have to go get more then.
guy2: see ya.
(guy1 leaves)
(guy2 pulls fresh pack from pocket and lights one up.)

by phillydrifter December 14, 2010

hagrag a.k.a. hag rag

n. a magazine or tabloid catering to whatever is raging in the female world; cover pics of beautifully photoshopped faces with a smatter of ATTENTION-GRABBING headlines. Distraction material, possible fap material as a last resort come judgment day.

I love technology because I was able to snap a 50-word female masturbation story out of a hagrag a.k.a. hag rag while waiting in line at the food store last week. SCORE

by phillydrifter October 18, 2011

reality denialist

Someone who believes ancient scriptures from primitive peoples -- not so primitive however that they had developed basic human evolutionary tendencies such as a desiring and eventually developing systems -- i.e. written language, starting with paintings on cave walls -- over what we have now learned is possible due to scientific thought, a latter progression of evolution; in short, a religitard, a devoutly faithful FOLLOWER; granted, fear of anyone referred to as a 'god' can be a frightening experience

Can you believe NASA sent Curiosity, the newest, most advanced, up-to-date mechanical lab all the way to Mars, and it successfully overcame every obstacle in its path! Think of all things we could discover that we weren't already aware of yet!

"Jebus christ was gods only son -- himself -- tri-angulated against another part of himself -- a 'holy spirit' if you will -- to punish himself for punishing himself and when we die he will punish us by granting us eternal life forever -- in the firey pits of hell if we think for ourselves."

"oh look, a reality denialist."

by phillydrifter August 10, 2012

farkument

(abstract noun) getting into an argument with at least one other person online at the notorious www.fark.com; reloading the page/making multiple comments so you an another farker can argue about some topic

"Billy, take out the trash, this is the last time I'll tell you!"

"Sorry, mom, I'm in the middle of a farkument!"

by phillydrifter December 09, 2007

MMD

acronym for "Most Massive Dump," used by guys in mixed company since most women would be disgusted by the thought of it.

Dave shows up late at party.
Eric: "Dave! Good to see you, what took you so long?"
Dave: (in front of date he brought) "had to take an MMD but it's all good, I'm here now."

by phillydrifter January 01, 2011