papermachete's definitions

failure

i. A good excuse not to try.

ii. One who fucks up all the time.

iii. One who goes to Yale but has the vocabulary and comprehension of a sea cucumber.

See also: George W. Bush, Dubya, Ashlee Simpson, Enron, Operation Iraqi Liberation

Homer Simpsons: Trying is the first step towards failure.

George W. Bush: I didn't misfailure the country! Honest! It's hard work being president! Realleh hard work! Even my daddeh says it's hard work! I don't get no break on Sundehs too!
Bob Bluebell: What a failure and a jerkwad.

by PaperMachete December 28, 2005

My eyes! They feel like needles!

What one screams in agony when one's eyes feel like needles.

Often shouted hysterically when hydrochloric acid, potassium permanganate, nitric acid, citric acid or some caustic or industrial chemical enters your eyes, and you can't help but scream in pain.

Greg Gregorius (after squirting orange juice in his eye): My eyes! They feel like needles!
Me: Here, let me gouge them out for you with this plastic spoon.
Greg: No, I'm quite fine, thanks.

by PaperMachete October 26, 2005

hellyo

a combination of hello and yo

hellyo is used only to address people in frustration or anger

Hellyo! What the fuck are you doing?

by PaperMachete October 26, 2005

carnalval

(n.) A carnival of sex-craziness and horny fiends. A freakshow of carnal delight. A good way to spend a Saturday night. Something that can only occurs in wet dreams.

I went to carnalval and had so much sex with so many bodacious babes. It was a blast.

by papermachete November 7, 2005

gnarlicious

(adj.) Used to describe something that is both gnarly an delicious at the same time. Something that's so special and brings so much bliss to life that it can only be encapsulated by this unusual word.

Nadia is so gnarlicious; I miss her immensely (though I'm sure she doesn't feel the same).

Sushi is so gnarlicious I could eat it every waking second of my life.

by papermachete November 11, 2005

face the music

Dates back to 1850, but the exact origin is unknown. One theory is that it comes from the theater world, where musicians were in a pit in front of the stage, so "to face the music" was to turn towards the audience. Another theory says it comes from a Civil War military ceremony where an officer that is about to be cashiered is literally drummed out.

Come out and face the music. I know what you've been doing to my socks.

by papermachete December 28, 2005

tired as shit

(adj.) To be so tired as to feel like shit and as to feel like you are numb to everything.

Man, I'm so tired as shit, I can't even keep my eyes open; I'm so tired I can't even get turned on by this porno. And I'm usually horny as hell when I'm tired or awake in the slightest sense of the word.

by papermachete November 11, 2005