onehandcrabbing's definitions

bitchsitter

A person who comes over to be with your wife (usually another bitch) to keep her from whining and complaining while you go out with the guys.

Hey man, do you want to go with us to Hooters and then over to the new club?

Absolutely! I just need to get a bitchsitter.

by onehandcrabbing December 14, 2013

Buttultimately

adv. from the end : what precedes comes from the speaker's end or ass because of vanity or pride and what follows is more or less the actual truth of the matter.

I thought seriously about going to Harvard buttultimately attended the local junior college.

Our defense played their hearts out and really showed determination buttultimately we couldn't stop the run and they kept scoring.

by onehandcrabbing January 17, 2012

Fartosis of the Louvre

A condition that causes excess gas around fine art.

I was enjoying the Mona Lisa when I was hit with a bad case of fartosis of the Louvre and had to run for the exit.

by onehandcrabbing September 26, 2012

Fartilepsy

A disorder marked by abnormal abdominal discharges from the ass and typically manifested by sudden, brief episodes of diminished sphincter control, involuntary flatulence, and sometimes severe anal explosions.

Tobin would be a great guy to date, but he does suffer from fartilepsy so be forewarned.

by onehandcrabbing November 29, 2011

Instagram

An app that makes your photos look like shit while simultaneously making you happy about it.

I can't believe Facebook paid a billion dollars to buy Instagram; a program that makes perfectly good photos look like shit.

"OMG look at my mom's crappy old photos from the 70s... Oh, but check out this Instagram photo of me and Katie at the bar last night."

Instagram makes photos more fartsy than artsy.

by onehandcrabbing September 29, 2012