Fartyr

A person who willingly takes the blame for a fart when it wasn't theirs, especially to protect the true farter from suffering unbearable embarrassment.
I was with Julie at her swearing in ceremony when she ripped a thunderclap. I quickly became a fartyr for her!
by onehandcrabbing October 28, 2012
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SMILE

Similar to MILF, SMILE is an acronym for Sex Muffin I'd Like to Eat.
That woman has an amazing SMILE.

No doubt. She looks delicious.
by onehandcrabbing December 12, 2013
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Fracking

A polite term for shoving a lubricated probe into the Earth's hole to release gas.
Earth: I'm having trouble passing gas.

People: That's nothing a fracking won't fix.
by onehandcrabbing February 21, 2012
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bitchsitter

A person who comes over to be with your wife (usually another bitch) to keep her from whining and complaining while you go out with the guys.
Hey man, do you want to go with us to Hooters and then over to the new club?

Absolutely! I just need to get a bitchsitter.
by onehandcrabbing December 15, 2013
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Dallass-Fart Worth

A place in Texas where many cross-country airline flights stop for connections and a particularly excellent place for a mid-trip dump.
Woman: Oh dear, I'm feeling like I need to drop the kids off at the pool.

Man: We'll be landing in Dallass-Fart Worth shortly and you can bend a biscuit there.
by onehandcrabbing November 29, 2011
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