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nolandc's definitions

Data Dump

Time spent on the office toilet, scrolling through social media to avoid responsibilities. Offers a way to relax without your manager seeing.

Finished with wiping and now only swiping, a data dumper will consume gigabytes-worth of data on IG and YouTube.
Garrett spent the last hour of his shift on a data dump.
by nolandc February 14, 2020
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Apple Prayer

A subconcious train of thought that expresses admiration for Apple products. Often recited in high school hallways, college campuses, and fat commutes.

The Apple Prayer: "Airpods have changed my life; Please end my strife with a new Apple Watch. Thank you, god, for Apple Cash. Oh, lmao, Siri's trash."
Damian gave an Apple Prayer before his exam.
by nolandc October 2, 2019
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Hanes Miscalculation

(n.) the act of wearing an unflattering pair of underwear, erroneously calculating that no one would see you in your underwear for the day.

Can apply to faded, fraying, or everyday underwear brands such as Hanes or Fruit of the Loom. Is often a symptom of stag reflex.
Person 1: Lauren saw me in my workout-only boxer briefs today
Person 2: An unforgivable Hanes miscalculation.
by nolandc September 15, 2019
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to raise cattle

(v.) to start beef with someone in a slow, brooding manner.

Compared to starting beef, raising cattle tends to be a more open and controlled grudge-holding process. It must be nurtured over a long period, like cattle on a farm, and can last several years.

Eventually, however, the grudge-holders may slaughter their cattle and convert it to beef. At this moment, they grudge-holders might begin tussling at a pre-game, heckling each other on campus, or fist-fighting in the middle of the quarterly marketing meeting.
Max: "I hate Erin."
Lou: "Time to raise cattle."
by nolandc September 20, 2019
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Track Flowcaine

A highly-addictive song. Flow so stimulating it causes withdrawal symptoms, like Crack Cocaine.

Track Flowcaine forces addicted listeners to keep one AirPod in during meetings or lectures. In cases of overdose, addicts hum Track Flowcaine's melody and tap its beat in public.
Kara stayed home and inhaled Track Flowcaine in her track den.
by nolandc February 14, 2020
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Dynadick

(n.) Someone who learned to be rude through their parents.

Traditionally, a Dynadick is an asshole whose father was an asshole, and whose father's father was an asshole also. Thus, a Dynadick is a member of a "Dynasty of Dicks."
Matt: "I went over to Adam's for dinner, and he and his parents scoffed at my body fat throughout the meal."
Chloe: "What a dynadick."
by nolandc September 12, 2019
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first-wheeling

(n.) to take oneself out on date.

When a couple requests to be alone, a third wheel derails into a first wheel. First-wheeling can be devastating for individuals who dislike their own company.

A good first-wheel could start with laying out a spread of charcuterie, wine, and dark chocolate on the river bank; then unicycling home under the rose-colored sunset. When you get back, to look in the mirror, telling yourself, "my treat," and then blushing, flattered.
Martyn: "Nolan, I am getting tired of you coming on my dinner dates with Phosie."
Nolan: "Ok, I will start first-wheeling and get to know myself better."
Martyn: "Maximal pleb behavior."
by nolandc September 20, 2019
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