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Alonavirus

The ailment contracted by lonely singles after Valentine’s Day. Symptoms include feverish right-swiping on dating apps and a renewed desire to wreck the gym. The general public can protect itself by wearing masks, to avoid smelling Alonavirus victims’ brand new cologne: Dior Amour.

Also known as Heartbrokenfluenza, not to be confused with the Common Cold Heart.
Adam contracted Alonavirus on Valentine’s Day when he binged-watched all of his friends’ romantic Instagram stories.
by nolandc February 22, 2020
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garbage bin chemical warfare

(n.) A passive aggressive argument between roommates, conducted when both parties continually refuse to take the trash out.

The resulting odor can lead to a household crisis, with general evacuation and avoidance of the common areas for the duration of the conflict. Can last for several days or, if stubborn, months.
Lisa: I'm near yours, can I stop by?
Tom: Wear a gas mask, we are enduring garbage bin chemical warfare.
by nolandc September 12, 2019
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Clifford the Blood Red Dawg

(n.) a way to express the darker side of someone

Named after Clifford the Big Red Dog's hood personality.
I lost it when Jeff told me he forgot the wine bottler. I went all Clifford the Blood Red Dawg.
by nolandc September 15, 2019
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Booze bark

(v.) To confess one's feelings in an uncontrolled, drunken emission.

Due to the intensity and emotion of the statement, a booze bark often resembles the bark of a German shepherd or other oversized canines.

A booze bark will most often occur in loud clubs or Uber rides home, but it may also come to pass by late-night voicemails, at office happy hours, and during going-away parties.
Aaron: "Iloveyoujess."
Jess: "Ew Aaron, stop booze barking."
by nolandc August 30, 2019
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Class Clooney

The designated hot person in a class, alongside the class clown and teacher's pet.

When the Class Clooney asks a question, the rest of the class is encouraged to stop scrolling and look up for the first time since class began, so they can subtly objectify the charming timbre in the Class Clooney's voice, and calmly envy their every atom.
The Class Clooney caused a disruption when she decided to sit in the back of the class.
by nolandc October 2, 2019
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Sauna del Rey

A room full of people sobbing while bobbing their heads, thanks to a speaker throbbing some fire sadpop.

A dance floor of sorrowful fist-pumpers. The name derives from Lana del Rey's devastating ballads, which have caused listeners to strip down to their emotions as they heat up on the dance floor. When a Sauna del Ray arises in a moving vehicle, the driver should pull over to the side of the road, hug their passengers, dab thrice, and draft a Tweet about "the shackles of love."
Marcos, kidnap the aux. It's time to turn this wedding into a sauna del rey.
by nolandc October 7, 2019
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gossip breath

(n.) someone who has been caught in the act of gossiping.

Named after the stank lingering on the breath of someone who just uttered a filthy rumor. Often, friends will go out of the way to avoid a gossip breath out of fear of being featured in their next rumor.
I could smell Erin's rank gossip breath from behind my back.
by nolandc September 12, 2019
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