nethcev!'s definitions

Personal Computer

A tenacious and vindictive machine, whose primary function in the domestic sphere at the conclusion of the 20th century was electronic solitaire, yet within one year of the 21st century literally held every aspect of human life in its hands.

My personal computer is way too personal.

by nethcev! September 8, 2006

Picture

A visual image or representation; painted, sketched, photographed or otherwise placed onto a flat two dimensional surface. Often it is said that a picture is WORTH a thousand words. This is, however, a fairly meager appraisal once one remembers that it is also often said that talk is CHEAP.

"Life is painting a picture, not doing a sum." Holmes

by nethcev! September 3, 2006

Sitcom

A term for a television series involving the same cast of actors who play the same characters in different scenarios each week in what is commonly referred to as an “episode”. Though not strictly confined to the genre, most sitcoms are comedic in nature, hence the name “sitcom” which is an acronym for “situation comedy”. To sum up what is a fairly ambiguous term, a sitcom is what keeps everyday people from watching the news, thus becoming enraged at seeing what is really going on in the country and thus setting about to murder all of Congress.

A sitcom may include: "Will and Grace" - "Friends" - "Sex & The City" etc.

by nethcev! October 22, 2006

grades

Either a letter, check mark, or numerical percentage, awarded to students to serve as an arbitrary means of evaluating one’s academic performance regarding various scholarly subjects and thus assessing one’s comparative worth against his/her pupils. Grades originated out of social necessity through individuals who were too stupid to recognize whether or not someone had any intellectual value without a universal standard to measure by.

The most stupid example of grades is the minus/plus system, which penalizes the achievers and rewards the slackers.

by nethcev! August 24, 2006

Apologetics

A branch of Christian theology devoted to the study and defense of the holy origins of scripture, as well as the divinely ordained authority of the Church alone to interpret it. To fail apologetics is a sign of intelligence.

My "F" in freshman Apologetics eventually led me to drop out of semenary and enroll in an Ivy league University.

by nethcev! November 22, 2005

exorcist

One who combines the power of prayer with sacred ritual, as part of a desperate attempt to drive demonic forces from the bodies of spiritual hypochondriacs.

You can usually find an exorcist or two on one of those Hallmark channels that broadcast only at three or so in the morning.

by nethcev! August 24, 2006

Smile

An insignificant facial expression which is intended to suggest feelings of euphoria, satisfaction or relaxed complacency to others, but in actuality, more often serves as a social mask to disguise one’s true feelings.

Oh villain, villain, smiling, damned Villain!
My tables - meet it is I set it down,
That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain;
At least I'm sure it may be so in Denmark

Hamlet, Shakespeare

by nethcev! September 5, 2006