Definitions by nethcev!

human

An omnivorous mammal, commonly known to the scientific community as, “homo sapiens”, whose precise evolutionary origins remain in dispute. Though some believe that human beings are distinguished from other creatures through the unique possession of a “soul”, others believe that it is the desire of humans to find a sense of “meaning” and “purpose” in their finite existence which separates man from other beasts. A poodle, for instance, cares not whether its existence serves any greater purpose than its own being. Such thoughts have probably never even occurred to any poodle through out history, nor a gorilla or even a dolphin for that matter. Nor are they ever likely to.

"Cheer up, you're only human."

human by nethcev! August 24, 2006

modesty 

A fine line between humility and low-self esteem which I chose not to walk.

For the sake of preserving my own modesty, I shall refrain from providing an example.

modesty by nethcev! August 24, 2006

Anthropology 

Sociology for the long since deceased.

"It's hard to find a job when your major is in anthropology."

Anthropology by nethcev! August 23, 2006

Soap 

A chemical agent, designed to cleanse one of his/her external filth, thus removing all outside suspicion of one’s internal grime.

Examples of soap include: Irish Spring, Ivory, Dial, Zest etc.

Soap by nethcev! August 23, 2006

Chemistry 

The study of meaningless numbers and letters through complex equations, usually taught by a professor who owns or operates a methamphetamine lab on the side to help subsidize his/her meager income.

While I failed high school chemistry, my teacher was fired the following year for incompetence.

Chemistry by nethcev! August 23, 2006

Alcohol 

Man’s most misunderstood culinary achievement.

Alcohol can be found in countless things that makes your day either better or worse.

Alcohol by nethcev! August 21, 2006

Astronomy 

A scientific study for those who seek to understand the intricate ways of other worlds and galaxies because they’ve given up trying to fathom the ways of this one.

"I didn’t see this coming when I left Kansas for the Windy City. At the time I was in college, Loyola University, majoring in astronomy. Why astronomy? Simple, there wasn’t anything on Earth that could motivate me enough to go to an 8 AM class on a half-way regular basis."

My Keys to Success
Published in Crosscurrents Magazine 2006

Astronomy by nethcev! August 20, 2006