nethcev!'s definitions

History

1. An argument for the cause of the present.
2. The study of man’s previous disasters, taught to ensure that future generations will never make the embarrassing mistake of repeating them, but will instead set about making new and even more complicated blunders.
3. The study of catastrophic events and the assholes that caused them. While preparing for an historical exam, one should note that any individual mentioned in the assigned textbook who was responsible for the death of at least a quarter of a million people, is probably worth mentioning on the test.

History is in itself an example.

by nethcev! August 20, 2006

exorcist

One who combines the power of prayer with sacred ritual, as part of a desperate attempt to drive demonic forces from the bodies of spiritual hypochondriacs.

You can usually find an exorcist or two on one of those Hallmark channels that broadcast only at three or so in the morning.

by nethcev! August 24, 2006

Time

An infinite resource which, despite its limitless reserves, few of us ever seem to have enough of.

Time,

There is nothing before me, and nothing behind.
I have nothing to lose, but yet nothing to find.

by nethcev! August 18, 2006

hope

A stowaway on one of man’s many ships of desire. Too often, it becomes a rude and painful passenger.

"My desire for her to feel the same way about me turned out to be a false hope."

by nethcev! August 24, 2006

Individualist

One who refuses to adhere to or conform to the ways and standards of others, and thus has instead decided to live by his/her own unique standards and unorthodox practices just like all the other unique and unorthodox individualists.

"I'm not very much of an individualist."

by nethcev! August 26, 2006

Chemistry

The study of meaningless numbers and letters through complex equations, usually taught by a professor who owns or operates a methamphetamine lab on the side to help subsidize his/her meager income.

While I failed high school chemistry, my teacher was fired the following year for incompetence.

by nethcev! August 23, 2006

Death

A state of existence that men tend to seek at their worst hours, and avoid during the rest of their years.

Deaths in 2003 (according to the World Health Report): 29.2% from cardiovascular diseases, 12.9% from Ischemic heart disease alone. 19.5% from parasitic diseases, lead by HIV 4.9%. Malignant neoplasms (growths and tumors) 12.5%, 2.2% from trachea, bronchus and lung. 6.7% from respiratory infections and 6.5% from respiratory diseases, chronic obtrusive pulmonary disease leading them with 4.8% of worldwide deaths. 6.2% from so called accidents, road and traffic injuries leading at 2.1%. 4.3% can be attributes to prenatal conditions, 3.4% to digestive diseases, chronic liver disease and cirrhosis of the liver combine to include 1.4% of worldwide deaths. Neuropsychiatric disorders such as Alzheimer’s take 1.9%, diabetes mellitus claims another 1.7% and Nephritis, nephrotic syndrome and nephrosis another 1.2%. Intentional injuries make 2.9% with suicide leading at 1.5% followed by homicide at 1.0% The remaining 3.7% died of various causes ranging from drowning to being mauled by a bear/bears.

by nethcev! January 2, 2006