funeral

When the friends, loved ones and acquaintances of a deceased person congregate around a coffin to bury the cadaver under dirt and white lies.
"Instead of a funeral, I'd like to be cremated with the intention of having my ashes preserved in a snow globe."
by nethcev! August 24, 2006
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Smile

An insignificant facial expression which is intended to suggest feelings of euphoria, satisfaction or relaxed complacency to others, but in actuality, more often serves as a social mask to disguise one’s true feelings.
Oh villain, villain, smiling, damned Villain!
My tables - meet it is I set it down,
That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain;
At least I'm sure it may be so in Denmark

Hamlet, Shakespeare
by nethcev! September 05, 2006
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History

1. An argument for the cause of the present.
2. The study of man’s previous disasters, taught to ensure that future generations will never make the embarrassing mistake of repeating them, but will instead set about making new and even more complicated blunders.
3. The study of catastrophic events and the assholes that caused them. While preparing for an historical exam, one should note that any individual mentioned in the assigned textbook who was responsible for the death of at least a quarter of a million people, is probably worth mentioning on the test.
History is in itself an example.
by nethcev! August 20, 2006
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Apologetics

A branch of Christian theology devoted to the study and defense of the holy origins of scripture, as well as the divinely ordained authority of the Church alone to interpret it. To fail apologetics is a sign of intelligence.
My "F" in freshman Apologetics eventually led me to drop out of semenary and enroll in an Ivy league University.
by nethcev! November 22, 2005
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Rap

A particular genre of popular music which provides the listener with a symphonic experience that is on a par with having a stranger masturbate into one’s eardrum. This includes a throbbing, repetitive rhythm, or “beat” - which is equivalent to the motion of a hand running up and down the length of a male’s phallus - while simultaneously listening to some horny high school dropout rhyming and rambling off about his desire to “knock boots” with the listener, while concurrently threatening to “bust a cap in your ass” if the audience member refuses to respect his “slim shady.” To listen to rap music is essentially to be raped in the ear.
"Doctor Drae" is a rap artist.
by nethcev! September 09, 2006
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elementary school

An introductory academic program that leads students through the first four to eight years of their education. It is here where tomorrow’s young scholars are taught the essential “three R’s”; Reading, Writing, Recess, and of course gym….but that’s technically not an “R”…. is it?
For a perfect example of an elementary school, drive to that part of the neighborhood where all the speed limit signs say "slow children at play."
by nethcev! August 24, 2006
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Kiss

The overture to more exciting lascivious behavior.
Often I've wondered what it would be like to kiss you.
What would your lips taste like?
Could they possibly be as sweat as your disposition?
Could they ever be as warm as your heart?
Would your kisses be short and precious, like the moments we share?
Or would they passionately linger through time, like how my love lingers for you?
Oh how I've wondered!
Oh how I've yearned!
To just once hug your lips with my own.
by nethcev! April 28, 2004
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