nethcev!'s definitions

elementary school

An introductory academic program that leads students through the first four to eight years of their education. It is here where tomorrow’s young scholars are taught the essential “three R’s”; Reading, Writing, Recess, and of course gym….but that’s technically not an “R”…. is it?

For a perfect example of an elementary school, drive to that part of the neighborhood where all the speed limit signs say "slow children at play."

by nethcev! August 24, 2006

Journalism

The art of expunging all of the art in writing.

For perfect examples of how journalism undermines art, see the guidelines listed in the AP Associated Press Stylebook.

by nethcev! August 18, 2006

fascism

The Nazi’s in Germany, the Falangists in Spain, and college football in the United States.

"I may not believe in fascism, but I sure do believe in the Oregon State Beavers."

by nethcev! August 24, 2006

Marriage

The sacred and legally binding prelude to divorce.

The marriage of Carmen Electra to Dennis Rodman, the marriage of Tom Cruise to Nicole Kidman, the Marriage of Brad Pitt to Jennifer Aniston etc, etc, etc,

by nethcev! August 17, 2006

Sinner

One who is better at being a pastor than a saint.

"God have mercy on the sinner
Who must write with no dinner,
No gravy and no grub,
No pewter and no pub,
No belly and no bowels,
Only consonants and vowels."

John Crowe Ransom

by nethcev! November 3, 2006

College

An institute of learning, designed to serve as a hindrance to one's higher education. To this day I maintain that the smartest thing I ever did in college, was drop out.

The experience of a former student of DePaul University.

by nethcev! June 27, 2004

Chicago

Like a speck of gold in a muddy riverbed, Chicago is the pearl of an otherwise abysmal region known as “the Midwest.”

"I spent my first year of college in Chicago at DePaul University. I learned that they call it "the windy city" because it truly blows to live there."

by nethcev! August 24, 2006