mickey darling's definitions

police scanner

a method used by a close associate of a rock band that uses this to find the most desirable groupies he can see and baits them into the backstage waiting room while the band takes care of business on stage...

sadly the groupies find out after hours of waiting that the band members have just played a horrible practical joke on them and are already partying back at the hotel.

we use the best police scanners on our tour to keep up the band's moral.

by Mickey Darling August 3, 2009

McClean

the process of McDonald's fast food going through your system faster than you going through the drive thru.

what's wrong with you broham?

you look like you are breaking out in cold sweats?

yeah, i feel a McClean coming on...

by Mickey Darling August 5, 2009

pencil jockeying

when an overpaid lawyer deliberately manipulates paperwork so that a client is dismissed of his/her charges and walks away from a situation that they were guilty of.

Can you believe all the pencil jockeying that goes on in the american judicial system today?

by Mickey Darling August 4, 2009

twoday

an expression used when asking time off from work to cover yourself for two days, not today, because you are going to get so wasted, you'll be straddling the fence.

Worker : hey boss, can i have off twoday?

Boss: do you mean today?

did you spill some dumbass on yourself

Worker: no twoday because i'm gonna get so wasted, i'll need two days to cover me.

by Mickey Darling August 3, 2009

Climaximus Capacity

when you reach your pleasure threshold humping the 2 cushions on the couch and let out this uncontrollable involuntary churp noise that your hot neighbors here coming from your room on a lonely monday night and most certainly destroys any chance of you getting laid in the real world.

i totally blew it last night when my neighbors heard me reach my Climaximus Capacity, i'm such a loser, time to play Warcraft.

by Mickey Darling August 2, 2009

Drunk on Restasis

girls that cry and whine for attention with their overly dramatic stories of how daddy won't buy them a new car and how much they hate life when they don't get their way are Drunk on Restasis.

that girl cried so many tears it was like she was drunk on restasis.

by Mickey Darling August 3, 2009

Toot Paste

Toot paste is an accident one encounters while trying to eat your fart out during a heavy toot fetish marathon preferably with someone else's wife.

Dude, her toot paste got in my eyes when i was mouth clamping her brown spider.

by Mickey Darling August 2, 2009