Did you hear the Supreme Court just ruled that convicts don't have a right to DNA testing, even if they pay for it themselves! What a bunch of gavelmonkeys!
by Maxhole June 20, 2009

Rondroid (ron droid) NOUN. The seductively bland people who loiter in busy public places asking young people to take their “free personality test.”
My friend Jamie took their free personality test.
They didn't like the results, so the Rondroids locked her in the testing room. She was screaming and pounding on the door. They left her in there for hours. She thought they were going to kill her. She had to kick a hole in the door to get out, and they tried to have her arrested for trespassing and property destruction.
They're such lovely people.
They didn't like the results, so the Rondroids locked her in the testing room. She was screaming and pounding on the door. They left her in there for hours. She thought they were going to kill her. She had to kick a hole in the door to get out, and they tried to have her arrested for trespassing and property destruction.
They're such lovely people.
by Maxhole June 22, 2009

by Maxhole June 18, 2009

snodgepocker (snodj pock er) NOUN. An annoying but endearing creature. Or is it endearing but annoying? Either way, you want to smack them, but can't because they are too Goddamned cute.
Like the cutest, fluffiest little kitten who keeps climbing up your legs and back with his needle-sharp claws to sit on your shoulder and purr.
Her- "How did he get stuck inside the piano?"
Him- "How? He's a hedgehog, that's what they do, look for dark places to curl up and sleep. And take a crap."
Her- "HE CRAPPED INSIDE MY PIANO!?"
(He pulls him out of the piano).
Him- "Sorry about that. Yeah, in't he a cute little snodgepocker?"
Her- "Ohhh... look at that little nosie!"
Him- "So... should we keep him, or call the Humane Society?"
Her- "He's making little piggy noises! We can't just give him away!"
Him- "So, what do you want to name him?"
Her- "Fluffy. Either Fluffy, or Shithead."
Him- "Welcome to the family, Shithead."
Her- "Can I hold him?"
Him- "Get your own damn hedgehog."
(she stands, staring.)
Him- "Shouldn't you be cleaning the shit out of your piano?"
Her- "I changed my mind about his name. I think he's more of a Fluffy."
Him- "Fluffy it is. Welcome to the family, Fluffy."
Her- "From now on, YOU'RE the one I'm calling Shithead."
Him- "There you go, sweet talkin' me again."
Her- "Just hand over the goddam hedgehog, Shithead."
Him- "OK. Here. Careful."
(He puts the hedgehog in her hands).
Her- "OW! Ow! What the fuck?! I am bleeding! You little fucker!"
Him- "The spines are sharp."
Her- "Ja think!?"
Him- "I told you to be careful."
Her- "He's grunting! What does that mean?"
Him- "It means he's hungry. I'll get him some food."
Her- "Oh, no you're not. I'M getting Fluffy's food. Aren't I , Fluffy? Fluffy says yes."
Him- "I'm coming along."
Her- "No, Fluffy says that Mr. Shithead should stay here to clean Fluffy's crap out of my piano. Doesn't he? Yesss he does."
Him- (grumbling) "Fucking hedgehog always takes her side."
Her- "How did he get stuck inside the piano?"
Him- "How? He's a hedgehog, that's what they do, look for dark places to curl up and sleep. And take a crap."
Her- "HE CRAPPED INSIDE MY PIANO!?"
(He pulls him out of the piano).
Him- "Sorry about that. Yeah, in't he a cute little snodgepocker?"
Her- "Ohhh... look at that little nosie!"
Him- "So... should we keep him, or call the Humane Society?"
Her- "He's making little piggy noises! We can't just give him away!"
Him- "So, what do you want to name him?"
Her- "Fluffy. Either Fluffy, or Shithead."
Him- "Welcome to the family, Shithead."
Her- "Can I hold him?"
Him- "Get your own damn hedgehog."
(she stands, staring.)
Him- "Shouldn't you be cleaning the shit out of your piano?"
Her- "I changed my mind about his name. I think he's more of a Fluffy."
Him- "Fluffy it is. Welcome to the family, Fluffy."
Her- "From now on, YOU'RE the one I'm calling Shithead."
Him- "There you go, sweet talkin' me again."
Her- "Just hand over the goddam hedgehog, Shithead."
Him- "OK. Here. Careful."
(He puts the hedgehog in her hands).
Her- "OW! Ow! What the fuck?! I am bleeding! You little fucker!"
Him- "The spines are sharp."
Her- "Ja think!?"
Him- "I told you to be careful."
Her- "He's grunting! What does that mean?"
Him- "It means he's hungry. I'll get him some food."
Her- "Oh, no you're not. I'M getting Fluffy's food. Aren't I , Fluffy? Fluffy says yes."
Him- "I'm coming along."
Her- "No, Fluffy says that Mr. Shithead should stay here to clean Fluffy's crap out of my piano. Doesn't he? Yesss he does."
Him- (grumbling) "Fucking hedgehog always takes her side."
by Maxhole June 23, 2009

by Maxhole June 19, 2009

by Maxhole June 19, 2009

Me- Why did you yell "faggot" at Mark?
Todd- Because I hate him.
Me- What did he ever do to you?
Todd- Nothing.
Me- So why bug him?
Todd- Because he's a queer.
Me- How do you even know?
Todd- I heard him on the phone with his boyfriend.
Me- Quit being such a homolester.
Todd- Because I hate him.
Me- What did he ever do to you?
Todd- Nothing.
Me- So why bug him?
Todd- Because he's a queer.
Me- How do you even know?
Todd- I heard him on the phone with his boyfriend.
Me- Quit being such a homolester.
by Maxhole June 20, 2009
