mattpacer's definitions

anal tremors

The involuntarily contractions of the anus while waiting for penetration.

Greg: I love watching your rim twitch like that, it's so hot
Steph: I can't help it babe, I've got anal tremors

by mattpacer May 15, 2016

mummy fisting

When a girl is so dry it is like trying to fist a mummified corpse.

Jake: So what happened last night with that bird?
James: nothing good, all I got was an aching arm after mummy fisting for 5 minutes

by mattpacer May 15, 2016

mildly moist

A horrible way to describe anything slightly wet.

Tim: I couldn't get that chick last night any more than mildly moist.
Ben: you got no game dude.

by mattpacer May 16, 2016

straight outta gatorade

When a man cums in an embarrassingly short amount of time.

Fran: So, how was that guy you took home last night?
Gemma: Don't ask, 30 seconds in and he was straight outta gatorade.

by mattpacer May 15, 2016

i just know, okay

How to explain away a lack of evidence or facts to back up the shit you are spouting.

Simon: that new girl would definitely rather fuck me than you.
Dan: what's that based on then?
Simon: I just know, okay

by mattpacer May 15, 2016

dick funk

A filthy smell. The product of not washing beneath the foreskin

Simon: oh babe do me a favour , go down...
Kim: No way Simon! I'm not going anywhere near that dick funk

by mattpacer May 16, 2016

car whore

Person, typically a man, who loves his car more than his girlfriend.

Becky: Who put your new car as your background?
Simon: I did of course.
Becky: What the fuck, what's wrong with the picture you had of us?
Simon: You know I love you too.
Becky: Your such a car whore.

by mattpacer May 15, 2016